Complete weird tales of.., p.485
Complete Weird Tales of Robert W Chambers, page 485
For she cared a great deal about Duane’s friendship; and she was very unhappy, and morbid and more easily wounded than ever, because somehow it had come to her ears that rumour was busily hinting things unthinkable concerning her — nothing definite; yet the very vagueness of it added to her distress and horror.
Around her silly head trouble was accumulating very fast since Jack Dysart had come sauntering into her youthful isolation; and in the beginning it had been what it usually is to lonely hearts — shy and grateful recognition of a friendship that flattered; fascination, an infatuation, innocent enough, until the man in the combination awoke her to the terrors of stranger emotions involving her deeper and deeper until she lost her head, and he, for the first time in all his career, lost his coolly selfish caution.
How any rumours concerning herself and him had arisen nobody could explain. There never is any explanation. But they always arise.
In their small but pretty house, terrible scenes had already occurred between her and her brother — consternation, anger, and passionate denial on her part; on his, fury, threats, maudlin paroxysms of self-pity, and every attitude that drink and utter demoralisation can distort into a parody on what a brother might say and do.
To escape it she had gone to Tuxedo for a week; now, fear and foreboding had brought her back — fear intensified at the very threshold of the city when Duane seemed to look straight at her and pass her by without recognition. Men don’t do that, but she was too inexperienced to know it; and she hastened on with a heavy heart, found a taxi-cab to take her to the only home she had ever known, descended, and rang for admittance.
In these miserable days she had come to look for hidden meaning even in the expressionless faces of her trained servants, and now she misconstrued the respectful smile of welcome, brushed hastily past the maid who admitted her, and ran upstairs.
Except for the servants she was alone. She rang for information concerning her brother; nobody had any. He had not been home in a week.
Her toilet, after the journey, took her two hours or more to accomplish; it was dark at five o’clock and snowing heavily when tea was served. She tasted it, then, unable to subdue her restlessness, went to the telephone; and after a long delay, heard the voice she tremblingly expected:
“Is that you, Jack?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“H-how are you?”
“Not very well.”
“Have you heard anything new about certain proceedings?” she inquired tremulously.
“Yes; she’s begun them.”
“On — on w-what grounds?”
“Not on any grounds to scare you. It will be a Western matter.”
Her frightened sigh of relief turned her voice to a whisper:
“Has Stuyve — has a certain relative — annoyed you since I’ve been away?”
“Yes, over the telephone, drunk, as usual.”
“Did he make — make any more threats, Jack?”
“The usual string. Where is he?”
“I don’t know,” she said; “he hasn’t been home in a week, they tell me. Jack, do you think it safe for you to drop in here for a few moments before dinner?”
“Just as you say. If he comes in, there may be trouble. Which isn’t a good idea, on your account.”
No woman in such circumstances is moved very much by an appeal to her caution.
“But I want to see you, Jack,” she said miserably.
“That seems to be the only instinct that governs you,” he retorted, slightly impatient. “Can’t you ever learn the elements of prudence? It seems to me about time that you substituted common sense for immature impulse in dealing with present problems.”
His voice was cold, emotionless, unpleasant. She stood with the receiver at her ears, flushing to the tips of them under his rebuke. She always did; she had known many, recently, but the quick pang of pain was never any less keen. On the contrary.
“Don’t you want to see me? I have been away for ten days.”
“Yes, I want to see you, of course, but I’m not anxious to spring a mine under myself — under us both by going into your house at this time.”
“My brother has not been here in a week.”
“Does that accidental fact bar his possible appearance ten minutes from now?”
She wondered, vaguely, whether he was afraid of anything except possible damage to her reputation. She had, lately, considered this question on several occasions. Being no coward, as far as mere fear for her life was concerned, she found it difficult to attribute such fear to him. Indeed, one of the traits in her which he found inexplicable and which he disliked was a curious fearlessness of death — not uncommon among women who, all their lives, have had little to live for.
She said: “If I am not worth a little risk, what is my value to you?”
“You talk like a baby,” he retorted. “Is an interview worth risking a scandal that will spatter the whole town?”
“I never count such risks,” she said wearily. “Do as you please.”
His voice became angry: “Haven’t I enough to face already without hunting more trouble at present? I supposed I could look to you for sympathy and aid and common sense, and every day you call me up and demand that I shall drop everything and fling caution to the winds, and meet you somewhere! Every day of the year you do it — —”
“I have been away ten days—” she faltered, turning sick and white at the words he was shouting through the telephone.
“Well, it was understood you’d stay for a month, wasn’t it? Can’t you give me time to turn around? Can’t you give me half a chance? Do you realise what I’m facing? Do you?”
“Yes. I’m sorry I called you; I was so miserable and lonely — —”
“Well, try to think of somebody besides yourself. You’re not the only miserable person in this city. I’ve all the misery I can carry at present; and if you wish to help me, don’t make any demands on me until I’m clear of the tangle that’s choking me.”
“Dear, I only wanted to help you—” she stammered, appalled at his tone and words.
“All right, then, let me alone!” he snarled, losing all self-command. “I’ve stood about all of this I’m going to, from you and your brother both! Is that plain? I want to be let alone. That is plainer still, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” she said. Her face had become deathly white; she stood frozen, motionless, clutching the receiver in her small hand.
His voice altered as he spoke again:
“Don’t feel hurt; I lost my temper and I ask your pardon. But I’m half crazy with worry — you’ve seen to-day’s papers, I suppose — so you can understand a man’s losing his temper. Please forgive me; I’ll try to see you when I can — when it’s advisable. Does that satisfy you?”
“Yes,” she said in a dull voice.
She put away the receiver and, turning, dropped onto her bed. At eight o’clock the maid who had come to announce dinner found her young mistress lying there, clenched hands over her eyes, lying slim and rigid on her back in the darkness.
When the electric lamps were lighted she rose, went to the mirror and looked steadily at herself for a long, long time.
She tasted what was offered, seeing nothing, hearing nothing; later, in her room, a servant came saying that Mr. Gray begged a moment’s interview on a matter of importance connected with her brother.
It was the only thing that could have moved her to see him. She had denied herself to him all that winter; she had been obliged to make it plainer after a letter from him — a nice, stupid, boyish letter, asking her to marry him. And her reply terminated the attempts of Bunbury Gray to secure a hearing from the girl who had apparently taken so sudden and so strange an aversion to a man who had been nice to her all her life.
They had, at one time, been virtually engaged, after Geraldine Seagrave had cut him loose, and before Dysart took the trouble to seriously notice her. But Bunny was youthful and frisky and his tastes were catholic, and it did not seem to make much difference that Dysart again stepped casually between them in his graceful way. Yet, curiously enough, each preserved for the other a shy sort of admiration which, until last autumn, had made their somewhat infrequent encounters exceedingly interesting. Autumn had altered their attitudes; Bunny became serious in proportion to the distance she put between them — which is of course the usual incentive to masculine importunity. They had had one or two little scenes at Roya-Neh; the girl even hesitated, unquietly curious, perplexed at her own attitude, yet diffidently interested in the man.
A straw was all that her balance required to incline it; Dysart dropped it, casually. And there were no more pretty scenes between Bunny Gray and his lady-love that autumn, only sulks from the youth, and, after many attempts to secure a hearing, a very direct and honest letter that winter, which had resulted in his dismissal.
She came down to the drawing-room, looking the spectre of herself, but her stillness and self-possession kept Bunny at his distance, staring, restless, amazed — all of which very evident symptoms and emotions she ignored.
“I have your message,” she said. “Has anything happened to my brother?”
He began: “You mustn’t be alarmed, but he is not very well — —”
“I am alarmed. Where is he?”
“In the Knickerbocker Hospital.”
“Seriously ill?”
“No. He is in a private ward — —”
“The — alcoholic?” she asked quietly.
“Yes,” he said, flushing with the shame that had not burnt her white face.
“May I go to him?” she asked.
“No!” he exclaimed, horrified.
She seated herself, hands folded loosely on her lap:
“What am I to do, Bunny?”
“Nothing.... I only came to tell you so that you’d know. To-morrow if you care to telephone Bailey — —”
“Yes; thank you.” She closed her eyes; opened them with an effort.
“If you’ll let me, Sylvia, I’ll keep you informed,” he ventured.
“Would you? I’d be very glad.”
“Sure thing!” he said with great animation; “I’ll go to the hospital as many times a day as I am allowed, and I’ll bring you back a full account of Stuyve’s progress after every visit.... May I, Sylvie?”
She said nothing. He sat looking at her. He had no great amount of intellect, but he possessed an undue proportion of heart under the somewhat striking waistcoats which at all times characterised his attire.
“I’m terribly sorry for you,” he said, his eyes very wide and round.
She gazed into space, past him.
“Do you — would you prefer to have me go?” he stammered.
There was no reply.
“Because,” he said miserably, “I take it that you haven’t much use for me.”
No word from her.
“Sylvie?”
Silence; but she looked up at him. “I haven’t changed,” he said, and the healthy colour turned him pink. “I — just — wanted you to know. I thought perhaps you might like to know — —”
“Why?” Her voice was utterly unlike her own.
“Why?” he repeated, getting redder. “I don’t know — I only thought you might — it might — amuse you — to know that I haven’t changed — —”
“As others have? Is that what you mean, Bunny?”
“No, no, I didn’t think — I didn’t mean — —”
“Yes, you did. Why not say it to me? You mean that you, and others, have heard rumours. You mean that you, unlike others, are trying to make me understand that you are still loyal to me. Is that it?”
“Y-yes. Good Lord! Loyal! Why, of course I am. Why, you didn’t suppose I’d be anything else, did you?”
She opened her pallid lips to speak and could not.
“Loyal!” he repeated indignantly. “There’s no merit in that when a man’s been in love with a girl all his life and didn’t know it until she’d got good and tired of him! You know I’m for you every time, Sylvia; what’s the game in pretending you didn’t know it?”
“No game.... I didn’t — know it.”
“Well, you do now, don’t you?”
Her face was colourless as marble. She said, looking at him: “Suppose the rumour is true?”
His face flamed: “You don’t know what you are saying!” he retorted, horrified.
“Suppose it is true?”
“Sylvia — for Heaven’s sake — —”
“Suppose it is true,” she repeated in a dead, even voice; “how loyal would you remain to me then?”
“As loyal as I am now!” he answered angrily, “if you insist on my answering such a silly question — —”
“Is that your answer?”
“Certainly. But — —”
“Are you sure?”
He glared at her; something struck coldly through him, checking breath and pulse, then releasing both till the heavy beating of his heart made speech impossible.
“I thought you were not sure,” she said.
“I am sure!” he broke out. “Good God, Sylvia, what are you doing to me?”
“Destroying your faith in me.”
“You can’t! I love you!”
She gave a little gasp:
“The rumour is true,” she said.
He reeled to his feet; she sat looking up at him, white, silent hands twisted on her lap.
“Now you know,” she managed to say. “Why don’t you go? If you’ve any self-respect, you’ll go. I’ve told you what I am; do you want me to speak more plainly?”
“Yes,” he said between his teeth.
“Very well; what do you wish to know?”
“Only one thing.... Do you — care for him?”
She sat, minute after minute, head bent, thinking, thinking. He never moved a muscle; and at last she lifted her head.
“No,” she said.
“Could you care for — me?”
She made a gesture as though to check him, half rose, fell back, sat swaying a moment, and suddenly tumbled over sideways, lying a white heap on the rug at his feet.
* * *
CHAPTER XX. IN SEARCH OF HERSELF
AS HIS TRAIN slowed down through the darkness and stopped at the snow-choked station, Duane, carrying suit-case, satchel, and fur coat, swung himself off the icy steps of the smoker and stood for a moment on the platform in the yellow glare of the railway lanterns, looking about him.
Sleigh-bells sounded near — chiming through the still, cold air; he caught sight of two shadowy restive horses, a gaily plumed sleigh, and, at the same moment, the driver leaned sideways from her buffalo-robed seat, calling out to him by name.
“Why, Kathleen!” he exclaimed, hastening forward. “Did you really drive down here all alone to meet me?”
She bent over and saluted him, demure, amused, bewitchingly pretty in her Isabella bear furs:
“I really did, Duane, without even a groom, so we could talk about everything and anything all the way home. Give your checks to the station agent — there he is! — Oh, Mr. Whitley, would you mind sending up Mr. Mallett’s trunks to-night? Thank you so much. Now, Duane, dear — —”
He tossed suit-case and satchel into the sleigh, put on his fur coat, and climbing up beside Kathleen, burrowed into the robes.
“I tell you what,” he said seriously, “you’re getting to be a howling beauty; not just an ordinary beauty, but a miracle. Do you mind if I kiss you again?”
“Not after that,” she said, presenting him a fresh-curved cheek tinted with rose, and snowy cold. Then, laughing, she swung the impatient horses to the left; a jingling shower of golden bell-notes followed; and they were off through the starlight, tearing northward across the snow.
“Duane!” she said, pulling the young horses down into a swift, swinging trot, “what do you think! Geraldine doesn’t know you’re coming!”
“Why not?” he asked, surprised. “I telegraphed.”
“Yes, but she’s been on the mountain with old Miller for three days. Three of your letters are waiting for her; and then came your telegram, and of course Scott and I thought we ought to open it.”
“Of course. But what on earth sent Geraldine up the Golden Dome in the dead of winter?”
Kathleen shook her pretty head:
“She’s turned into the most uncontrollable sporting proposition you ever heard of! She’s up there at Lynx Peak camp, with her rifle, and old Miller. They’re after that big boar — the biggest, horridest thing in the whole forest. I saw him once. He’s disgusting. Scott objected, and so did I, but, somehow, I’m becoming reconciled to these break-neck enterprises she goes in for so hard — so terribly hard, Duane! and all I do is to fuss a little and make a few tearful objections, and she laughs and does what she pleases.”
He said: “It is better, is it not, to let her?”
“Yes,” returned Kathleen quietly, “it is better. That is why I say very little.”
There was a moment’s silence, but the constraint did not last.
“It’s twenty below zero, my poor friend,” observed Kathleen. “Luckily, there is no wind to-night, but, all the same, you ought to keep in touch with your nose and ears.”
Duane investigated cautiously.
“My features are still sticking to my face,” he announced; “is it really twenty below? It doesn’t seem so.”
“It is. Yesterday the thermometers registered thirty below, but nobody here minds it when the wind doesn’t blow; and Geraldine has acquired the most exquisite colour! — and she’s so maddeningly pretty, Duane, and actually plump, in that long slim way of hers.... And there’s another thing; she is happier than she has been for a long, long while.”
“Has that fact any particular significance to you?” he asked slowly.
“Vital!... Do you understand me, Duane, dear?”
“Yes.”
A moment later she called in her clear voice: “Gate, please!” A lantern flashed; a door opened in the lodge; there came a crunch of snow, a creak, and the gates of Roya-Neh swung wide in the starlight.
