Stonehill series collect.., p.100
Stonehill Series Collection, page 100
He looked out the window as Charlie pulled into the driveway of a house. The home was as cookie-cutter as it got. A white two-story square with black shutters and hanging plants on the porch. Bushes had been trimmed into perfect squares with bright flowers evenly spaced between them.
A year ago, he never would have even dreamed of owning a home like this. He’d lived in military housing and tents since he was eighteen. But a scene flashed in his mind and seized his heart and made his breath catch. He could picture Jenna standing there, clear as day, a baby on her hip and both smiling at him as he came home from a long day at work.
He’d had a similar sensation come over him at the café when he’d walked in and seen her holding Kara’s baby. She was such a natural and when she turned and smiled at him with Mira snuggled up against her, his heart had done some kind of crazy flip-flop in his chest. He’d wanted to go to them and pull them both against him and never let go. He wanted them to belong to him.
He hadn’t quite understood what all that meant and hadn’t been able to snap himself out of the daze until she’d walked to the table and forced him from the image forming in his mind. But now it all made sense.
He’d never considered having a family of his own, a home of his own, but somehow that suddenly felt right. Like this was where he should be—in a home like this with a wife and kid of his own. And his mind had filled that role with the only woman who ever seemed to tolerate him.
Poor Jenna.
“You coming?” Charlie asked.
Once again pulled from the thoughts of what life could be with a woman who unwittingly filled his mind, Daniel nodded. “Yeah.”
“You okay?” Charlie asked after knocking on the door.
Daniel glanced around the yard. “Just reconciling my life, you know.”
“Sounds deep.”
He smiled when the door was opened and introduced himself and explained how they’d come to know about the furniture. The man let them in and gestured to what was left after the estate sale. “Take what you want. We were just going to put it on the curb anyway.” Then he disappeared, clearly not interested.
Daniel put his hands on his hips as he looked at the teal sofa with bright pink flowers splayed in an obnoxious pattern. “Well. That’s ugly.”
Charlie laughed. “But it’s clean and free.”
“Yeah.” A small table with two chairs sat behind it. More of a card or game table than a dining room table, but it was still more than what he had in the apartment. Both pieces were in near-perfect condition and Daniel imagined the owner had been elderly and particular about taking care of her furnishings. However, it was the toolbox that caught his attention. He flipped the lid back and found it full of obviously used but functioning tools. “Is this toolbox going, too?” he called out.
“It’s yours,” the dismissive man said.
“Nice,” Charlie said. “So what are we taking?”
Daniel stood and looked at the 1980s-era couch, the highly polished table and chairs, the rusted but working toolbox, and a bookshelf with several boxes that said kitchen on their fronts. “All of it.”
Chapter 13
Jenna walked into Daniel’s apartment and had to chuckle. “Wow! Look at all this stuff.” She stopped in front of the couch. “And that…”
Daniel laughed, too. “Well, as Charlie pointed out, it isn’t pretty, but it was free.”
“Charlie?”
The smile that spread across Daniel’s face warmed her heart.
“Yeah. I went to borrow his truck and he offered to help me move the furniture, so… He got to see the place. He likes it. Oh, and he’s going to bring me his guest bed and dresser. They didn’t have any bedroom furniture left.”
“A bed would be great, huh?”
His face sobered as he took in the apartment. “Jenna, I gotta thank you. A month ago, I didn’t know what I was going to do. Now I’ve got an apartment—temporarily,” he was quick to say. “And a job with Kara. And my uncle… He treated me with respect today. It’s been a while since he’s done that.”
She rubbed her hand over his arm, lightly squeezing as she said, “You deserve to be treated with respect. You’re trying to move forward and get back on your feet. That’s admirable. As for this apartment, it’s yours for as long as you need it.”
He met her gaze and there was that intensity again. His eyes had a way of drawing her in. She could get lost in his stare. He seemed to be having that same problem lately.
As she tended to do, she drew a breath and broke the gaze. “I’m sure you’re hungry after moving all this furniture. Chicken and noodles.”
“My second favorite,” he announced.
“And look. A table.”
“And chairs.”
She put the bag on the table and started digging out their dinner. Usually they’d eat it at the café, but she’d been dying to see what he’d found.
“Kara seems nice,” he said.
“She’s very nice, but that woman is a master at bartering. She was a single mother who learned young how to convince people to trade goods instead of money. She’ll get you talking and before you know it, she’ll have you convinced to trade roofing her mother’s house for curtains and a couch cover. Don’t fall into her bargaining trap. I know her mother. She’s retired, but she can afford to pay you for your work and you need the cash more than you need a couch cover.”
“Thanks for the warning.”
“I’m serious, Daniel. That woman is sweet as can be, but damned good at negotiating without you even realizing what you’re doing. You’re better off dealing with Harry if you can. He’s happy to pay a bill and move on.”
“They sound like complete opposites.”
“Oh, they are, but it works for them.” She smiled as she looked at her food. “They met in high school and then spent almost thirty years apart. As soon as they found each other again, everything just fell into place for them. They have a family now. It’s romantic, really. To have someone just fit you like that. Don’t you think?”
She glanced up to find that intense stare on his face again. God, he had to stop looking at her like that. She couldn’t read him when he did that. She couldn’t figure out what was going on inside his head, but she suspected he was judging her. Heat flushed over her cheeks and she cleared her throat. “There’s that Midwestern naïveté again,” she muttered.
“No. It’s a nice thought. I, uh, I’d like that, too. Someone to come home to at night.”
“You? You seem like such a loner.”
He shrugged and turned his attention to his dinner. “I guess I always have been. I didn’t see the point in getting married. The army was the most important thing in my life. I gave it my all until I didn’t have enough left for a wife and kids. But…well, that’s gone now and I have to think about my life without all that. It’d be nice to think that maybe…someone…could fit me like that.”
She swallowed when his penetrating gaze landed on her again. For a moment, she thought he intended that someone to be her. For a moment, she entertained the idea herself. Daniel was nothing like Peter. Peter had been dismissive and distracted and self-centered. He’d made her feel important at first, boosting her up—buttering her up, more like. She still didn’t know his true motives in having courted and married her.
She had her suspicions. She was smart, driven, and innocent enough to be a novelty for him and the ladder of people he’d had to climb to further his career. How cute it was for them to hear stories of Iowa and push her around because she was too intimidated to stand up for herself. How easily she’d been molded to be Peter’s subservient little wife, supporting and pushing and planning while he left her behind.
Peter never wanted Jenna. He wanted what Jenna could do for him. He wanted a steppingstone and he’d found one in her. She’d given up her dreams to support his.
She couldn’t imagine Daniel ever treating her that way. He was more protective of her than Peter had ever been. Once, at a party, a man had cornered Jenna and all but groped her until Peter walked in. Instead of defending her, Peter had dismissed the man’s actions as his having had too much alcohol and Jenna being overly sensitive. She imagined if Daniel had walked in on the same, the man would have lost a few teeth before he was done with him.
She didn’t condone violence, but it was nice to think there were still men out there who would defend a woman’s honor. And Daniel would. That was, after all, what had gotten him in the situation he was in. Defending a woman from being attacked. Defending several women, to hear him tell the tale.
How nice it must have been to feel protected instead of used.
And when Daniel looked at her like that, she wanted nothing more than to feel like he was her protector. He was the fit she’d been looking for. He was the one who would take care of her. Look out for her. Lift her up instead of intentionally keep her down.
The notion was stupid. He was rebuilding his life, and helping her with the café just happened to be a step along his path to redemption. But every once in a while, when she least expected it, the sensation rolled through her—she wanted to be more than that.
This was one of those moments. He sat there with that look in his eyes—the one that made her wonder if maybe he felt the same draw to her. She wondered if she put her hand on his if he’d pull away or if he’d take her hand. And if he did, would it mean the same to him? She was tempted to try, but her thoughts were shattered by the sound of a knock on the door.
Daniel hesitated before leaving the table to answer. “Hey, Charlie,” he said after pulling the door open.
“Sorry to just drop by. I tried to call but I guess your cell was shut off.”
“Yeah. Didn’t seem like something I needed at the time.”
Jenna smiled when Charlie noticed her sitting at the table. “Hi, Charlie.”
He nodded, seeming pleased that she’d called him by his first name this time. “Jenna. I didn’t mean to interrupt your dinner.”
“Have you eaten?”
“Yeah. I was just bringing that bedroom furniture by. Thought you might want it for tonight.”
Jenna closed her container as she stood.
“I didn’t mean to run you off,” Charlie said.
“Oh, I need to get to cleaning up the café. Good to see you again,” she said to Charlie as she headed out. “Night, guys.”
She was unlocking the kitchen door when the men started down the stairs. She was tempted to look up at Daniel but resisted. She needed to get whatever was going on in her head worked out. Daniel had enough on his plate without her adding to it. And she certainly didn’t want to scare him off. She needed him and he needed a place to stay.
He was just getting his life back on track. She wasn’t going to knock him off the path he’d found himself on by throwing herself at him. Besides, he probably didn’t want her like that anyway. Peter had made damned sure she knew how undesirable she was when she’d caught him with Angie. Why would he want her—a plain, boring, short Midwesterner who only bothered to wear makeup and style her hair when they were going out—when he could have someone elegant who took pride in her appearance?
Jenna glanced down at her Rolling Stones T-shirt and sighed when she noticed mashed potatoes dried on her right breast. How long had that been there? She scratched the dried food away and felt her spirits sink. She wasn’t cut out for the grace that came naturally to Angie. She’d always been a bit of a mess. She’d never cared much about her hair other than keeping it out of her face. And why wear makeup when it was just going to run anyway? Other than a swipe of mascara to distract from some of the darkness that tended to settle under her eyes, Jenna didn’t see the point.
Not many men were impressed by such a lack of effort put forth by a woman. Or so Peter had said.
“Get out of my head,” she breathed as she increased the tempo of her sweeping. By the time she was able to fully expel Peter’s voice from her thoughts, she’d swept and mopped the floor. She was pushing the mop bucket into the kitchen when the door opened and Daniel came in with Charlie on his heels. “Did you get the bed set up?”
“Good to go,” Daniel said. “I was going to show Charlie some of the bigger projects on the list. Get his input if you don’t care.”
“Of course not. Mind the floor. It’s wet.”
Their voices drifted from the dining room and a few minutes later they came back into the kitchen. Jenna finished dumping the mop bucket and putting it away before moving to where they were discussing her plumbing issues. Charlie was on the floor, looking at her pipes and clicking his tongue, when she noticed Daniel watching at her.
Charlie stood and shook his head. “I bet you’ve got original pipes running through this whole building.”
“That’s what my brother thinks, too. He said I’ll probably have to replace all the plumbing sooner rather than later.”
“I agree. But the good news is, you can do it in pieces. No need to tear it all out at once. It’ll take longer, but you won’t have to shut your doors that way.”
She sighed with relief and leaned against the counter. “That’d be great.”
“It’s the flooring that I’m more concerned with. You don’t want to do tiles,” he said. “That’s too damn expensive. Laminate is the way to go. There’s some nice commercial grade available that will stand up to the wear and tear. I’ve got the measurements. I’ll get some quotes, and we’ll figure out what to do there.”
“We?” she asked, startled.
Charlie acted as if she hadn’t spoken as he focused on Daniel. “I’ll get that vinyl ordered. Usually takes about two weeks to come in. We can probably get the whole lot of ’em done in a weekend. We’ll take one out, reupholster it, and get it back in as soon as possible.” He finally turned his attention to Jenna. “That is, if you don’t mind us tackling it that way.”
She shrugged. “Whatever is easiest for you guys.”
“Danny gave me your budget, so no worries there. I’ll find something that you can work with.”
She glanced between the men. She’d missed something. Something big.
“I’ll catch up with you next week sometime,” he said to Daniel.
He disappeared out the kitchen door, and Daniel closed and locked it behind him.
“My head is spinning,” she said once they were alone. “Is Charlie helping with the café now?”
Daniel laughed and nodded. “I didn’t ask, Jen. I just showed him what I was doing and he started making plans and telling me how he can help.”
“Is that okay with you?”
His smile faltered. “Is it okay with you? I should have asked. I’m sorry—”
“Don’t be. I just want to make sure you’re okay with it.”
He nodded. “I was a bit concerned about your budget and how expensive some of the projects would be, but Charlie gets a contractor discount. That will save you a lot of money. You just have to reimburse him instead of buying direct from a company. And if he’s willing to help with the bigger projects, they’ll get done a hell of a lot faster.”
“That’s great. It really is, but are you okay with this?” She closed the distance between them and held his gaze, as if his eyes ever told her anything he was thinking. “You and Charlie seemed to have done a one-eighty today. I’m having a hard time following what’s happening here.”
“Well, a lot of this is his guilt, I think. And I think he feels responsible for you.”
“Ah.” She nodded. “Because he still thinks you might hurt me.”
He focused on her forehead, pushing her hair aside, and frowned. “I told him what happened. And that I’m going to counseling. He knows I’m trying, but he also doesn’t believe I’m any different than my father. I think being here and helping out is his way of looking out for you the way he couldn’t look out for my mom. But this is good. He’ll see that I am nothing like my father.”
“You can earn his respect again.”
“That’s my plan. What was on your mind when we came in?” he asked quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“Your eyes were sad. Why?”
She forced a grin. “My eyes were sad?” She lowered her face when he simply stared. “Sometimes when it’s quiet, I let his voice in without realizing it.”
“Peter?”
She nodded.
“What was his voice saying?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
He put his hands to her cheeks and tilted her head back. “Tell me.”
She pushed the air from her lungs. Why the hell was she finding it so hard to breathe? “It doesn’t matter, Daniel.”
“Tell me. Please.”
The sting of tears surprised her. “After all this time, his words still hurt me sometimes. I know they shouldn’t.”
“What words?” His voice was a low, demanding growl this time.
As much as she loved the feel of his hands on her and his body so close, she needed to pull away so she could take a breath that didn’t smell like him. Taking a few steps back, she lifted her arms out. “Look at me. I’m a mess. Food all over my shirt. My pants are getting too tight. My shoes are worn. My hair is sticking out of my bun in a million directions. No makeup. I’m a mess, Daniel. I’m always a mess. I always look like I just rolled out of bed and threw on whatever I could find because that’s exactly what I do. Every morning.” She ignored the tears that welled and fell from her eyes. “I get up and I come down here and I work my ass off and then I go to bed. And I…I’m never going to have what Marcus and Annie have because I…I’m a mess and Peter was right. Who the hell wants a mess like me? I’m sorry. I don’t know where all this is coming from.”
Daniel reached out and pulled her to him, wrapping her in his arms, and the dam broke. His hold on her was fierce, so tight the sobs welling in her chest could barely escape. The harder she cried, the harder he held her, until she felt he could crush her. But she didn’t care. In fact, she wanted his arms to crush her. She wanted to crawl inside him and never have to feel like the worthless shit Peter had convinced her she was.
