Stonehill series collect.., p.16
Stonehill Series Collection, page 16
“I’ll never forgive myself. If that counts for anything.”
“It doesn’t.” Kara looked in her mug and sighed. “You’re going to let Harry set the pace for what happens next. Don’t call him or push him. I’ll help him take the next step, but it’s up to him if and when that happens. He’s got a lot of things to figure out, and you aren’t going to compound it with this I-was-doing-it-for-you bullshit.”
“You’re cussing again.”
“I don’t have to respect you,” Kara stated. “I’ll try, for Harry, but I don’t have to. When you play the protective mother card, all you are doing is projecting your guilt onto him, like it is somehow his fault that you lied to all of us. It isn’t. That was your choice. Stop making it about his education and own that it was your fear. As for my son, it is up to him whether or not he invites you to be a part of his life. That isn’t my choice, and that isn’t a relationship that I will push on him. If he asks for my help, I’ll give it, but I will not help you. Do you understand me?”
“Yes,” she said on a breath.
Kara pushed herself up, but Elaine grabbed her wrist. Her eyes were sad, pleading.
“I’d at least like to see what my grandson looks like now. I’d like to see his daughter. Do you have photos?”
Kara considered the request for a moment. “I think that’s for Harry to decide.”
“Wait,” Elaine called as Kara pulled free. “I know it doesn’t mean much, but I am sorry that I hurt you.”
She nodded just enough to acknowledge the apology before heading for the door.
Kara walking into the kitchen was like taking a breath after nearly drowning. Harry pulled her to him, wrapped his arms around her, and buried his face in her hair as relief washed through him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“For what?”
“For sending you away.”
She leaned back and met his gaze. “You said you needed to be alone.”
“I didn’t mean it.” He stroked his fingers over the braid that started at her temple and disappeared behind her head. “I didn’t want you to leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Harrison.”
He lowered his face, embarrassed that she’d read his fear. She’d spent her life running. He was terrified she was going to run again. He didn’t want to lose her. “It’s been a hell of a few days. I’m so worked up about my parents’ anniversary. Running into Mom today didn’t help.”
“I know.” Kara took a breath. “That’s why I went to see her.”
Harry’s stomach flipped. “You what?”
“I told her I am going to put it all behind me and focus on the future. I want a life here, Harry. With you and my parents and our son and granddaughter. And, I suppose, with your mother. The holidays may be uneasy, but a lot of people don’t get along with their in-laws.”
Harry lifted a brow and smiled. He didn’t think she’d even realized what she’d said. “In-laws?” he asked before she could continue her rambling.
Kara flattened her mouth and cocked a brow—the same disapproving look she would get so mad at Phil for giving her. “You know what I mean.”
She started to walk away, but he wrapped his arm around her stomach and reeled her back to him.
“Are you asking me to marry you?” he teased.
Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped, causing him to laugh. “Hardly.”
He grinned at her, amazed that all it took was a few minutes of being with her to make him feel so much better. Five minutes ago he’d been about to lose his mind. Now, he leaned against the counter and used her hips to nestle her between his legs. “I’d have to consider all my options, but I could probably be swayed with a little romance.”
“Harry,” she said, but her chastisement was light.
He dipped his head down and kissed her. “A few candlelit dinners and walks along the beach would probably convince me of your sincerity.”
She dragged her hands up his arms and around his shoulders. “Harrison.”
He kissed the corner of her mouth. “I think I’ll keep my last name, though.” He pressed his lips to her jaw line. “I’m a man of independence. I’d like to have my own identity.”
She sighed heavily and rolled her head back as he put his mouth to her neck. “You’re impossible.”
“You love it.” He moved his lips higher.
She gasped. “Maybe on some deep, dark, masochistic level that I never realized existed.”
He moaned as he nipped her ear lobe. “I think I’d like to get to know this deep, dark, masochistic level of yours.”
“It must be the same side that drove me to visit your mother.”
He exhaled. “And my good feelings are gone.” Leaning back, he frowned at her. “I know you aren’t much for abiding by rules, sweetheart, but let’s agree on one: no mentioning my mother when we’re on the verge of heavy petting.”
She giggled and put her fingertips to his lips before he could kiss her. “Go upstairs,” she whispered. “Get ready for bed. Then come see me.”
He held his breath as she leaned up and brushed her mouth over his—not quite a kiss, but he’d take it.
Then she ruined his excitement by whispering, “We have some things to talk about.”
He sighed. “Rule number two…”
Kara laughed as she pulled away. “Hurry up, Harry. I’m tired.”
She disappeared around the corner before he pushed himself upright. He hurried upstairs and readied for bed, yanking on a pair of house pants and a T-shirt before quietly easing back down the stairs. Kara had told him that Phil knew he’d been sleeping downstairs, but he didn’t feel the need to advertise it. After knocking on her bedroom door, he entered when she called out to him.
His stomach tightened as he opened the door just in time to see her tug a tank top over her head. He flipped off the overhead light and crossed the room as she tied her hair back from her face. He tugged the blankets back and collapsed on the bed. She sat next to him, leaned against the headboard, and pulled her legs up to her chest. Disappointment rolled through him. She hadn’t been kidding about talking.
He waited, but she didn’t say anything. Finally, he asked, “Why did you go see my mother?”
“Why did you go see my parents?”
“Because I hated watching you torture yourself.”
She winked at him, and he laughed quietly.
He ran his hand down her shin and rested it on the top of her foot. “How’d it go?”
“She fixed me chamomile tea and told me to sit down so we could talk civilly. Apparently she didn’t appreciate my brooding, rot-in-hell look.”
“You gave her the look?”
“Oh, you know I did. I cussed at her, too.”
He laughed softly, imagining how the scene had played out. “You cussed at my mother?”
“I said the F-word.”
He dragged his hand over his face. “The one and only time I said that in front of my mother, she dragged me to the bathroom to wash my mouth out.” Elaine was a tiny thing, but she had some balls.
“She told me not to cuss at her. I told her not to lie to me. I also said her excuses were bullshit.”
“And she said?”
“She pointed out I was cussing again. I told her to deal with it.”
“I’m kind of sorry I missed this. There aren’t many souls who dare defy Elaine Canton.”
Kara sighed loudly. “Hopefully there aren’t many souls who have suffered at her hand the way we have.”
“So did you resolve anything other than releasing some pent-up anger?”
She nodded. “Your mother felt threatened by me, Harry.”
He lifted his brows at her. “Please don’t tell me you put her in a chokehold.”
Kara giggled and entwined her fingers with his. “I mean back then. Apparently you talked about me quite a bit.”
“I was infatuated.”
“She thinks you still are.”
He looked at their tangle of hands and rubbed his thumb over hers. “I might like you.”
“Yeah? I might like you, too. I think she was afraid you’d be put in the position of choosing between me and her and that you would have chosen me.”
“I would have.” He untangled his fingers from hers and lightly ran them up her arm. “Even when I was a scared kid with no way to take care of you and a baby, I would have chosen you.”
“Well, it seems she didn’t want take that risk, so she cut out the competition. It’s sad, really. She was so scared that she thought she had no choice but to manipulate her own child so she wasn’t left alone.”
“Don’t feel too bad for her, Kare. She has friends and other family. She wasn’t alone when my dad died.”
“It’s not the same as having the love and adoration of your only son. Trust me.”
Harry scoffed. “She never had my adoration. Dog killer.”
Kara snickered as she sank down under the covers until she could rest her head next to his. Her eyelids slid closed, and he considered how exhausted she must have been. She’d faced one emotional hurdle after another since waking up.
“She said they’d started the lie so you would stay in school, and when your father died, she was too scared to come clean. She thought about writing to me, asking me for help.” She sneered. “Isn’t that rich? She wanted me to tell you about Phil to get her off the hook for her lies.”
“But she didn’t.”
“No. She didn’t.” She rolled onto her side to face him. “I told her I couldn’t forgive her but I was going to let go of my resentment. I don’t want to be angry anymore, Harry.”
She traced her fingers along his jaw. He captured her hand and kissed the pads of her fingers.
“I want to move on,” she whispered.
“I want that, too.” He cupped her cheek with his palm and gave her a weak smile. Her eyes filled with concern, and he thought he could get lost in them. He traced his thumb over her lips, which he’d become obsessed with ever since giving in and kissing her on the swing set. “Heck of a day for you, huh?”
She closed her eyes. “I’m so tired.”
“I bet.” Reaching over, he turned off the light on the nightstand. He kissed her forehead as she snuggled against him. “I’m proud of you.”
“For not killing her?”
“For everything. And I’m so glad you came home. I’ve missed you for a very long time.” He pulled her closer to him, wrapped his arms around her, and held her as she fell asleep.
14
Kara turned from her easel when Harry walked into her room. She tried to read his expression, but he had on one hell of a poker face. “Well? How’d it go?”
“As well as could be expected.” He crossed the room and kissed her head as he looked at the painting she’d started for the living room. Finally, his face cracked and he smiled. “I like this already.”
She didn’t respond to his compliment. She was far more interested in his evening with Elaine than his thoughts on her work. “Did you take her to dinner?”
“As I’ve done every year since Dad died.”
“And?”
“I told her the same thing you did. I can’t forgive her, but I’m letting go. I don’t want our future to be tainted by the past anymore.”
“How do you feel?”
He was quiet for a moment. “Relieved.”
“Good.” She focused on rinsing her brush. “I had breakfast with my parents, and then I called that woman, the one who was looking for help in her gallery.”
His lifted his brows. “I assumed you weren’t interested.”
She shrugged. “I’m going to give it a try. I teach my first class Saturday.”
He grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. Putting his palms on either side of her face, he searched her eyes. The seriousness on his face started to concern her. He looked so introspective, she couldn’t read his reaction.
“Are you happy?” he asked after a moment.
“I am,” she whispered. “Are you?”
He smiled. “More so than I think I’ve ever been. I know we’ve just found each other again, Kara, but I’m in love with you. I’m in love with you, and I need you to be happy with me.”
Her heart melted. His words surprised her. She couldn’t remember the last time a man had professed love to her, but she did know that it had likely struck a fear so deep in her heart that she had run away.
There was no running this time. Not from Harry.
Instead of terror at the thought of being emotionally tied down, a warmth spread through her, and she had a feeling of belonging that she wasn’t sure she’d ever felt. “I love you,” she whispered. She covered his hands with hers and nodded. “I always have.”
Harry held her as he brought his mouth down on hers. She stepped back, taking him with her as she made her way to the bed. “Wait,” she breathed, pulling away. She moved around him, locked the door, and made sure the curtain blocking the view from the hall was in place. Flipping the switch and leaving only the moonlight streaming in through her window, she walked back to Harry.
Putting her hand to his chest, she pushed him until he was on his back on the bed, as she’d done all those years ago. She tugged her ankle-length skirt up to her thighs, straddled his hips, and looked down at him, grinning with a mixture of amusement and excitement. “Try not to get me pregnant this time.”
He chuckled. “I’ll do my best to keep my reckless sperm under control.”
“I’d appreciate it.”
Leaning over him, she ran her fingers through his hair and skimmed her gaze over his face in the silver-blue light of the moon. “No more looking back.”
“No more looking back.”
He maneuvered his hands under her skirt and ran his palms up her thighs. She nearly melted into him. The heat of his skin made hers burn with desire.
She started working on the buttons of his shirt. As she parted the material to reveal the dark hair peppering his chest, he pushed her T-shirt up. They quickly traded tasks—she lifted her shirt over her head, and he took over tugging his free. Both were tossed aside, and Kara focused on his belt buckle while he tugged on the clasp on her bra.
He released his hold and stared at her breasts, sending a thrill through her. He trailed his thumbs over her nipples, the same way he constantly did to her lips, and the sensation caused her to gasp. Pulling her down to him, he grazed his teeth over her flesh, followed by a hot flick of his tongue.
She moaned and arched her back, encouraging him to continue while she reached inside his open zipper. She wrapped her hand around his erection and stroked as he ground up into her hold and moved his mouth to her other breast. Finally, he fell back, panting. She didn’t give him a moment to catch his breath. Instead, she covered his mouth, running her tongue over his. He grasped her hips as he pressed his feet into the mattress, using the movement to roll her beneath him. He pushed his slacks down while she shimmied out of her skirt and panties.
He was between her legs before she even settled. She was half sitting, the mound of pillows piled against the headboard stopping her from lying all the way down. He didn’t seem to notice, and if he did, he didn’t care. His lips went to her breast again, sucking her nipple into his mouth, licking and fondling with his tongue. She rolled her head back as she fisted his hair.
“God, you’re so much better at this now,” she panted.
Harry laughed softly. “I’d hope so.” Leaving her chest, he placed a path of hot kisses over her neck and then crushed her lips with his.
His hand moved up her thigh and between her legs, causing her to make another contented sound. She closed her eyes and bit her lip as his fingers slid inside her and his thumb, which she’d decided was his secret weapon, moved over her clitoris. There was no build up, no slow rise to pleasure. Her orgasm simply slammed her hard and fast.
“Shh,” Harry insisted as he put his mouth to hers.
She bit his lip in response, ignoring his hiss of what she assumed was pain. The ripples eased, and she released his lip and gasped for air.
“You should have warned me you were a screamer.”
“I’m a screamer,” she said breathlessly.
“Yeah, the neighbors and I just figured that out.”
She giggled as he nestled his body between her legs, pushing her thighs apart as he prepared to love her.
As he held her gaze, his smile softened. “I never want to be without you again.”
She put her fingers to his lips. “I’m not leaving, Harry.”
“Promise.”
“I promise,” she whispered.
He slid his hips forward and entered her slowly. All the playfulness left them as they started moving together. He slowly thrust forward and then eased back, only to do it again, clearly making a statement, staking a claim on her heart, and using their bodies to express how he felt.
For the first time in her life, she understood the difference between sex and making love. She fell back on the pillows, moving with his slow strokes, accepting his sweet kisses, and responding in kind. He filled her in every way, and when he softly pressed his lips to hers, she was startled at how cherished she felt. She hadn’t even known it was possible to feel so loved, so wanted.
“Harry,” she whispered, surprised that his name caught in her throat. She didn’t quite understand what was happening, but as he breathed her name in time to a slow and gentle thrust, a tear fell from her eye. He wiped it away and smiled down at her as he continued his leisurely rhythm. He put his lips to hers and ground into her, going as deep as their bodies would allow. She gasped, clung to him, and rolled her hips.
“It’s okay,” he whispered. “Let go.”
A sob welled in her chest. His mouth on hers muffled the sound as more tears filled her eyes. Digging her hands into his hair, she wrapped her legs around him, clinging as he pulled back and thrust again. This time, instead of a slamming orgasm, the sensations rolled through her like the ripples on a pond. Her body tensed, and she trembled and cried out. In response, he grunted her name and then stilled deep inside her.
