Stonehill series collect.., p.11
Stonehill Series Collection, page 11
“That doesn’t mean I’m ready to face them.”
“I know. And that’s okay. But it’s really unfair that you’re angry with me for doing the exact same thing you would have done.” He nodded when she looked at him curiously. “Remember when I didn’t get invited to Joey Cambridge’s tenth birthday party? I was devastated, but I refused to ask why. He was my best friend. How could he not ask me to a party? So you went to see his mom, and it turned out she just didn’t have enough invitations and thought that my being there was a given. She didn’t realize not getting a paper invitation had hurt my feelings.”
She scoffed. “This was a little bit bigger than a party invitation, Phil.”
“I know. But it’s the same principle. I was hurting. You knew the only way to fix it was to face it, and when I couldn’t, you did it for me. You were too scared to face your parents, so Harry and I did it for you. If they had decided they didn’t want to see you, we knew you would take it better from us than from them. Maybe we should have talked to you first, but you would have told us not to go, and you’d still be sitting here wondering if your parents love you. They do, Mom.”
Her lip trembled, and she shook her head. “I’m not ready.”
“Okay.” Leaning down, he put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her head. “But will you at least try to understand why we did what we did and stop hiding in your room?”
“I’m not hiding. I’m—”
“You’re hiding. Which is better than running, but it’s still childish.”
She gawked at him as he started for the door.
“I’m going to tell Harry it’s safe to come in,” he said. “He’s been pacing outside your door all morning.”
Before she could argue, he was gone, her bedroom door left wide open. She frowned as she looked at the shirt she’d been working on. She rotated the needle up, released the foot, and started gently working the material free. By the time she was cutting the threads, Harry was closing her door behind him.
“Phil said you wanted to see me?”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Your son is frighteningly misguided.”
“So…you don’t want to see me?”
She set the shirt aside and focused on him. “I don’t want to be pushed, Harry. I don’t want to be made to feel like I have to forgive when I’m not ready. Or forget when I can’t.” She looked at him. “Have you called your mother yet?”
He lowered his face. “No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m still angry.”
“Well, I’m angry, too. Maybe they did go look for me. Maybe they were sorry. But if they hadn’t done what they had, I never would have turned to your mother for help. I never would have been sent away. You would have known about Phil from the start.”
He gave her a pathetic look, much like the one Phil used to give her on the rare occasion he’d upset her enough to ground him. “I just saw how much you were hurting, and I wanted to fix it.”
She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. “I know you did. You’ve always been a passive-aggressive hero—saving me from paint spatters and emotional turmoil.”
“And you’ve never needed my heroism.”
“That’s debatable, I suppose. I probably would have been suspended for giving the school Ken doll a black eye if he’d squirted paint on me, even though I started it.” After pushing herself up, she took his hand and pulled him to her bed. After sitting back against the pillows, she curled her knees to her chest while he settled next to her. She’d sent him away the last few evenings, not wanting his company as she worked, but she had missed him. She hated how much she had missed him.
Seeing him leaning against the window ledge, looking at her through sad eyes, made her realize just how much. She turned her attention outside. Jessica ran to the swing set Harry had bought for her. He and Phil had assembled the two swings, teeter-totter, and a slide coming from a little wooden clubhouse. Jessica had been in heaven since.
Phil wasn’t far behind, following his daughter as she yelled for him to push her.
“You spoil her,” Kara said.
“That’s what grandpas are for.”
She returned her attention to him. He was pouting ever so slightly as he fiddled with a string on her blanket. “I’m not mad at you for trying to help. Hell, I’m not even mad at you, really. I’m just mad.”
“I know.”
“What am I going to say to them, Harry?” She creased her brow as she fought the emotions bubbling inside her. “‘Hey, don’t worry about that time you disowned me. It’s cool. Let’s just act like that never happened.’”
“I don’t know.” He broke the string free and rolled it around until he had created a tight ball between his fingers. “I’ll go with you, if you want, though. So when you say whatever you need to say, you aren’t alone. But you have to face them, Kare. So you can embrace this new life we’re building. We both have to.”
She watched him playing with the string as she pondered his words. “What is this new life we’re building, Harry? What are we doing?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Taking a day at a time, I suppose. That’s all we can do. I just want Phil and Jessica here. With me.”
“And I’m part of the package.”
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I didn’t mean it to sound like that.”
“You don’t have to apologize.”
“I’m not apologizing, because I didn’t mean it like that. I’m happy you’re here. I’m not happy about the circumstances, but I’m glad you’re back in my life.”
She ran her hand over her hair. “The circumstances suck.”
He scoffed. “Yes, they do. Next weekend is my parents’ wedding anniversary. I’ve taken Mom out to dinner every year since Dad died. What am I supposed to do now? Take her out and act like everything is fine? Like you said. ‘Hey, let’s just forget about that time you lied to me about being a father for twenty-seven years.’ I can’t do that.”
“Has she called again?”
He shook his head, and Kara frowned, hating how much pain they were both in. She’d been so miserable. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d just taken a breath and relaxed. The sound of Jessica and Phil laughing wafted through her window, and she hopped off the bed.
“Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“We’re getting out of here.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. “No more stress today. I can’t handle it. I need some fun, and you, Mr. Passive-Aggressive Hero, are going to give it to me.”
Kara’s idea of fun had been finding a lake and spending the day exploring and swimming. But she had told Harry he was going to give her fun, and his idea of fun was completely different. He wondered now, as the roller coaster crested its highest peak, if he had made the wisest choice.
Kara screamed beside him as they plunged downward and then were jerked right and left. She didn’t seem to stop screaming the entire time they were rolled, twisted, and tossed by the ride. When they finally came to a stop, she laughed.
The safety bars holding them in released.
Kara shoved hers up and struggled to climb out. “We are not doing that again.”
Instead of admitting he agreed with her, he said, “One more time. Come on.”
“I’ll get sick. I swear I will.”
They walked down the ramp and met Phil and Jessica finishing a funnel cake.
Jess bounced toward them. “I heard you screaming, Grandma.”
“Seriously, Mom.” Phil tossed their trash in a can and brushed his hands on his shorts. “That was hilarious.”
“I’m glad you appreciated it.”
Jess grabbed Phil’s hand. “Let’s do the tea cups again, Daddy.”
“That’s all the way on the other side of the park, Punk.”
She put her hands together and pressed them to her chin. “Please.”
Harry waved them off. “Go on. We’ll catch up to you.” Exhaling loudly, he eased onto a bench.
Kara smirked as she sat next to him. “So I’m not the only one who thinks that roller coaster was not a good idea.”
He chuckled and put his arm around her shoulder. He was surprised when she leaned closer to him and her hand fell to his knee. “You’re having fun.”
“I’m having fun. Jessica is going to sleep like a rock tonight.”
“So am I,” Harry said. “I’m getting too old for this amusement park thing.”
“Oh, no. No. Not too old. Too distinguished. Too mature. Too sophisticated. Never, ever say you are too old.”
“Hmm. I’m too distinguished for this amusement park thing.”
She laughed and her head fell to his shoulder. Harry thought his heart might burst from the excitement. For the millionth time in his life, he wished he hadn’t been such a chicken shit back then. He wished he’d taken the chance and told her how he felt. How their lives would have been different. They would have had years filled with days like this. Years of laughter and days of getting away to forget the stresses of their lives. Instead of something new, this would have been normal for them. This would have been their life.
He couldn’t resist the urge to turn his face and bury his nose in her hair. Then he kissed her head and froze as realization struck him. “This is it,” he said.
She leaned back and gave him that look that he had already become re-accustomed to. The what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about-Harry look she had. It cemented what he suddenly knew.
He smiled. “This is it.”
“What?”
Turning on the bench, he put his hands to her face and brushed his thumbs over her cheeks. “This is the happiest day of my life.”
The crease between her brows softened, and she smiled. “I think it could be mine, too.”
Leaning down, he kissed her cheek and pulled her into a hug. He held her for a long time before pulling back. He put his forehead to hers and exhaled heavily before pressing his lips to the corner of her mouth. An audible gasp caused Harry to lean back.
Phil and Jessica had emerged from the crowd and were standing next to them. Jessica had both her hands over her wide-open mouth, and her eyes looked nearly ready to pop out of her head.
Phil’s gaze danced between his parents. “She, uh, she changed her mind. She wants to go to the carnival games. We can, um, go without you.”
Harry grabbed Jessica’s hand as he stood and started toward the games. “Absolutely not. It’s not a day at the amusement park until I win an oversized bear.”
“You kissed Grandma.”
Harry glanced at Kara and winked. “Yes, I did.”
“Don’t say a word,” Kara said to their son.
Phil laughed in response but heeded his mother’s warning as Harry led them toward the ring toss.
Kara slipped into a pair of house pants she’d sewn together out of scrap material and tugged on a T-shirt before pulling her hair back in a loose bun. She scrubbed her teeth clean and washed her face in the half bath before trekking back into her room. She wasn’t expecting to see Harry sitting on her bed. They were all exhausted from the day at the amusement park, and she figured he would be asleep by now.
“Aren’t you tired?” She closed the door behind her.
He stopped looking at his phone and grinned. “I’m digging those pants, Kare.”
She looked down at the patchwork she was wearing. “Yeah? I’ll make you a pair.”
“I’m holding you to that.”
She sat on the bed next to him, tugging the covers up and dropping them over her legs as she sagged back against her pillows.
Once she was settled, he asked, “Do you want me to leave so you can get some sleep?”
“Nope. I can sleep with you here.” She smirked at him. “What’s on your mind, Harry?”
“Why do you think I have something on my mind?”
“Because you’re tired, and instead of going to bed, you are sitting here with me.”
“I had an amazing day.”
“The happiest day,” she reminded him.
He nodded. “It was the happiest day.” He found another string on her blanket to tug on. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you with that kiss. I didn’t…you know…mean anything by it.”
“I know. And you didn’t embarrass me. This one time, the day after high school graduation, I tried to sneak out of this girl’s house without everyone realizing I’d been dumped by this guy I’d just had sex with. That was embarrassing.”
Harry chuckled. “What kind of jerk dumps a girl he just had sex with?”
She lifted her brows in response, and he sighed.
“I need to tell you something,” he said.
The seriousness of his tone caused her to take pause. “What?”
He looked at her for a long moment. “I really hated that roller coaster.”
“Me, too. Maybe next time we just go to the lake like I suggested?”
“Yeah. That’s probably a good idea.”
“But that’s not what you wanted to tell me.”
He shook his head.
“What is it?”
“I was really scared.”
“On the coaster?”
“When you were mad at me. I just kept thinking, what if she leaves? What if she runs away? I know that we aren’t…whatever…and I’m not expecting that,” he amended, “but this family, this home…we wouldn’t be complete without you.” He put his hand on her knee. “Promise me that you won’t ever just leave. That you’ll always try to work things out before giving up on me.”
Kara wondered if this was the result of his divorce. Had his wife just left without warning? Or was he so convinced by his own theory of why she’d drifted so much that he really thought she would just disappear without so much as a goodbye? She decided now wasn’t the time to psychoanalyze his request.
“Promise,” she whispered. “And you promise me that you won’t go around trying to fix my problems all the time.”
“Promise.”
“Come here,” she said, patting the bed next to her.
He hesitated before stretching out on top of the covers and putting his head on the edge of her pillow. They looked out the window up at the stars.
Reaching down, she curled her fingers in his. “This is the perfect end to the happiest day.”
11
Harry couldn’t remember ever having such a hard time picking out flowers, but none of the bouquets in the floral department at the grocery store were “speaking” to him, as Kara would have said. He’d awakened in the morning with her curled next to him. Her mass of hair had worked loose from the bun she’d put it into the night before, and his face was buried in the tangled strands. His arm was asleep and he was cramped in the tiny space on her bed, but he hadn’t moved. Hadn’t dared.
Thirty years before, he’d missed his one and only chance of waking up with her in his arms. He wasn’t blowing it this time. He lay there listening to her breathe, feeling each rise and fall of her chest and the heat of her body against his for what seemed an eternity. When he couldn’t take the discomfort any longer, he eased his arm into a different position, careful not to wake her, and pulled her just a bit closer. He closed his eyes and stayed that way until she shifted and eventually awoke. She’d blushed and crawled from bed to start the coffee while he used the bathroom.
After he went back to her room, they sat on her bed sipping coffee, nibbling fruit, and telling stories. He loved listening to all the things she’d seen. He envied her life more than just the time spent with Phil. She’d seen and done things he never would.
Jessica had come in as they drank their second cups of coffee and snuggled under the covers with Kara, enhancing the stories with her seven-year-old point of view. It had been a perfect morning. He couldn’t stop thinking that was how every morning of the last thirty years should have been.
After breakfast, Kara worked on finishing up Jessica’s new school clothes while he and Phil ran errands. As soon as they walked into the store and Harry saw the flowers, he decided Kara needed a bouquet in her room. He just couldn’t decide which ones.
Finally, out of sheer frustration, he grabbed a dozen red roses and a box of chocolates from a nearby display and silently chastised himself for putting too much thought into it. He just wanted her to feel special. And appreciated. He had a suspicion she’d spent much of her life feeling neither. He was going to change that. She did so much for them. He was going to do something for her. Women liked roses and candy. Those kinds of things made them smile. At least from what he could remember. It had been an embarrassingly long time since he’d tried to woo a woman. Not that he was trying to woo her. Not exactly.
He looked at the gifts in his hand and doubt found him. This was a stupid idea. Stupid. What if he was trying to woo her? What if she didn’t want to be wooed? What if, instead of making her feel appreciated, he made her feel awkward? Or obligated? The last thing he wanted was to put her in a position of feeling like she owed him something.
“Shit.”
“Harry?”
He figured he looked as confused as he felt by the way Phil eyed him.
He grinned slowly and pointed at Harry. “Date night?”
“What?” He looked at the roses. “No. No, I-I…” He lowered the flowers and sighed. “I wanted to do something nice for Kara, but I don’t think…I mean…”
Phil’s smile widened. “Harry, do you want to date my mom?”
“No. Maybe. I mean…would that be okay? Would it be strange?”
“My entire life has been strange. Mom won’t eat those.”
Harry looked at the chocolates for a moment before the light bulb in his mind lit. “Oh, right. Processed sugars. Chemicals. All that.”
“Roses don’t really scream Kara either.”
A feeling of defeat washed over him. “This was a bad idea.”
“No. You’re just treating Mom like the traditional female, and trust me, she’s not. She likes flowers, but she prefers them live.” He walked them back to the floral area and looked at the selection of potted plants ranging from ferns to bonsai. “She’d like any of those.”
