Stonehill series collect.., p.34
Stonehill Series Collection, page 34
They felt like a family despite Mitch’s glaring absence. They’d laughed and torn into presents and had a huge breakfast, just like they had done every year since they were old enough. She’d thought of Mitch but was able to push him from her mind and focus on happier things. Now, as she watched the boys fill their plates and Paul once again complimented her on how good dinner smelled, she realized she was happy. The emotion took her completely by surprise and brought a surge of tears to her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but Sam hesitated in handing her the potatoes.
She put a spoonful on her plate and passed the dish to Paul.
“I’m okay,” she whispered when he, too, looked at her with concern.
She watched as they dug in and must’ve gotten lost in the moment, because Paul reached under the table and put a hand on her knee, squeezing it gently. She looked at him and smiled before picking up her fork and stabbing at her ham. They all laughed at the story Sam was telling, and by the time dinner ended, even Jason seemed relaxed. It was more than Dianna could have asked for, more than she had expected from her first Christmas as a divorcee and single mother.
She wanted to reach out and take Paul’s hand in hers, she just had the urge, but as she did, she recalled her insistence that there was nothing going on between them. Instead, she gathered her dishes and stood. “Anybody ready for dessert?”
“We have to head out if we’re going to get to Grandma’s on time,” Jason said bitterly, causing Dianna to pause and look at him. “I guess we can’t put off meeting that woman forever.”
Sam turned his attention across the table to Paul. “Any tips on how to survive your ex-wife?”
“Toss her something sparkly to distract her.”
Dianna raised a brow at Paul. “Don’t encourage this.”
Paul put his hand to his chest as if offended. “What did I do?”
“Look,” she said to her kids, “you may not be happy about this situation, but you can’t change it. Don’t make it worse than it is. This”—she waved her hand—“woman is going to be your stepmother eventually. You may as well get used to that.”
“Fat chance.” Jason pushed himself up.
She didn’t argue. She had done all the defending of Mitch that she felt obligated to do. She watched them leave and then carried a stack of dishes to the kitchen.
“Well, today wasn’t as bad as it could have been,” she said when he followed her, carrying two dishes. “I was afraid Jason was going to glare at you the entire time.”
He grinned. “I bought him off.”
She creased her brow as she snapped tops onto the containers for storage. “How so?”
“While you were finishing dinner, I gave them both gift certificates to the game store at the mall.”
“Paul!”
He laughed. “Hey, it worked. Are you okay? You kept fading during dinner.”
She put the food in the fridge and faced him. “I was just thinking that I’m okay. I’m actually, really, honestly okay. And I’m glad you were here.”
“Me, too.”
They finished cleaning up from dinner and then headed to the living room. Dianna pointed at the last wrapped present under the tree. “You want to open that?”
He followed her gaze. “For me?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
He hurried to where he’d left her present and carried it to the tree. “Come on.”
Dianna walked across the room to sit with him in front of the tree. She grabbed the box she had wrapped for him. “You first.”
He opened the box and pulled out a CD of mixed jazz music and a small handmade booklet. He opened the booklet and chuckled. “Coupons.”
“Magic coupons.”
He flipped through the computer-printed slivers of paper. “Good for one eggplant parmesan. I like that. What else did I get with these? Lasagna. Laundry. Awesome. You know I hate doing laundry.”
She chuckled. “You’ve told me. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t afford to get you something better.”
“No.” He smiled sincerely. “This is great. This is perfect. This is better than anything you could have bought. And this CD…” He looked over the back. “Some of my favorites are on here. I love it.”
“I hope so.”
“I do. Open yours.”
She pulled the big box onto her lap and couldn’t stop her smile from spreading as she tore it open. She lifted the top off a box, pushed the tissue paper aside, and pulled out a plush, teal-colored robe.
“Your other robe looked like it deserved to spend the rest of its life in retirement.”
She giggled as she thought of the old tattered garment that had been given to her on Mother’s Day when the boys were still in elementary school. “It’s seen better days.”
He pulled her to her feet and held the robe open while she slipped her arms into the wide sleeves. She turned and folded the front closed and then tied it with the sash.
“Lovely,” he said.
“I like it. It’s very…” She stopped speaking when she shoved her hands into the pockets and felt an envelope in one. Pulling it out, she looked at him with confusion.
“Oh, that? That’s actually for both of us.”
She tore the envelope open and found two season passes to the community theater. “Paul,” she breathed.
“You said you wanted to spend more time at the theater. I enjoy shows as well, so…”
“This is amazing. Thank you.”
He shrugged. “That means, of course, that you have to take me.”
“Oh,” she teased, “I’ll try to work you into my rotation.” She untied the sash around her waist and laid the robe over a chair. “I made pie.”
“Not yet. I’m stuffed.”
They plopped onto the sofa, and Paul kicked off his shoes while she grabbed the remote control. She turned on the series they’d started binge-watching on Netflix, and they sat quietly through the episode.
“Hey, Di,” he said quietly before she could start another.
“Hmm?”
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
His tone seemed to indicate that he wasn’t looking forward to whatever it was he planned to say. She sighed.
“What?”
Suddenly the front door opened and then slammed shut. She and Paul jolted and turned toward the entryway.
Sam stormed up the stairs without a word to them. Jason came in behind him, opening and closing the front door much more easily than Sam had. Dianna stood with Paul beside her, looking curiously at her son.
“They’re getting married,” Jason said, sounding like he could barely speak.
Dianna creased her brow. “We knew that.”
“On New Year’s Eve. At the stroke of midnight.”
Dianna’s breath left her in a rush, like she’d been punched in the gut. Paul put his arm around her shoulder, and she leaned against him for support.
“They want us there,” Jason said. “Sam made it pretty clear we had better things to do.”
Dianna opened her mouth, but she couldn’t speak. No words came out. Her mouth just gaped and stayed that way.
Jason looked away. “I’m going to check on Sam.”
He left the room before Dianna turned to Paul. He looked as shocked as she felt. Just when she was doing better. Just when she was content.
A tear fell from her eye, and he wiped it away. When his own tear ran down his cheek, she reached up as he had done and dried it. Using his hold on her head, Paul pulled Dianna to his chest and wrapped her in his arms as they dealt with another blow from their exes.
“So,” Matt said, handing Paul a beer. “How’s it going?”
Paul took a long drink as he looked at the television. Matt had shown up at his door under the pretense of wanting to watch the football game, but Paul didn’t need Matt to tell him the real reason he was there. He’d stopped responding to Annie’s phone calls. He was tired of reassuring her that he was fine. She didn’t believe him, but surprisingly, he actually was doing okay.
It was Dianna he was worried about. She’d finally seemed to be doing well. She’d said she was okay on Christmas, and he thought she really was. Then Jason dropped the bombshell, and it was like her feet had been kicked out from under her again.
Swallowing a mouthful of cold brew, he nodded. “It’s fine, Matt. Just like I told your sister.”
“Our sister. And Annie isn’t the only one worried. Donna thinks you’re in denial about how upset you are.”
“Because I’m not wallowing in self-pity?”
Matt smirked. “You have a way of doing that.”
“Screw you.” Paul lifted his hand in frustration as his team lost the ball. “Idiots.”
“You seem to be handling things well.”
“Because I am. You know, I have friends for these kinds of chats.”
“You also have family,” Matt reminded him. “And we were finally starting to see you on a semi-regular basis, but the last few days, you’ve gone back into hiding.”
“I’m not in hiding.”
“She’s getting married, Paul. In a few days. That’s gotta sting.”
Paul took another drink. “You know what, Matty? It does. But I finally figured out that Michelle’s behavior has nothing to do with me. She’s shallow. She’s narcissistic. The sting I feel is more at my own stupidity than the lack of affection she felt for me. She’s going to do to this guy the same thing she did to me. Wrap him up, turn him around, and then leave him for the next thing that comes along. It’s what she does.”
Matt nodded. “I’m glad you see that. How’s Dianna handling it?”
Paul sighed. “Not well. She’s trying to be strong for her kids, but she’s pretty torn up.”
“And, uh, how do you feel about that?”
“What do you mean, how do I feel about it? I don’t want to see her hurting, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“How do you feel about her being torn up that her ex is getting remarried?”
Paul set his beer down. “I hate that he can still break her heart like that.”
Matt was quiet for a minute. “Is she heartbroken?”
Paul nodded as a gloom he couldn’t quite explain settled over him. “Yeah. She seems to be pretty devastated.”
“That sucks, huh?”
“Yeah, it sucks. She doesn’t deserve what he’s put her through.”
“No, I mean… If she’s devastated, that means she still cares about him. If she still cares about him, she’s not ready to move on, and if she’s not ready to move on…”
Paul eyed his brother. “What?”
Matt took a long swig from his bottle. “Just…don’t get invested in a woman who isn’t ready to invest in you. That’s all.”
Paul sighed and returned his attention to the television. “I wish you and Annie would stop trying to put Dianna and me in a relationship. We know we aren’t ready. Neither one of us has even tried to go there, and we aren’t going to. So just…drop it.”
He glanced at Matt, who was giving him a look like he didn’t believe a word he was saying.
“Drop it,” Paul said again.
Chapter 12
The week after Christmas had been an emotional blur. Dianna had gone from angry to depressed to perfectly fine and then went through it all again, over and over. Somehow, though she wasn’t quite certain how, she had ended up in a crowded ballroom at the local casino on New Year’s Eve with a pilot named Mike giving her googly eyes while she scanned the faces for Paul.
Mike put his hand on her shoulder. “Did you hear me, Diane? I said we should go someplace quieter so we can talk.”
She’d already corrected him on her name three times. She wasn’t doing it again. “I don’t think my date would appreciate that.”
“C’mon. What kind of guy leaves a beautiful woman standing alone on New Year’s Eve?”
“He just went to get more drinks.”
Mike leaned close. “I’ve been watching you. And I keep thinking one thing.”
“I bet you do,” she said through her frozen smile just as she spotted Paul pushing his way through a group of people. “There’s my date. Gotta go.”
Paul’s gaze followed Mike as he moved on to another woman standing alone. “Who was that?”
“Um, that was Mike, and he’s been watching me all night and thinking one thing.” She glanced back and shuddered. “Do not leave me alone again.”
Paul grinned and ran his fingers over a curl dangling along the side of her face. He’d been doing that all night. He seemed to be mesmerized by that particular strand of hair. She didn’t mind. The first time it had been gentle and sweet. As the night grew older and they drank more, his hand became heavy and lazy. This time, he practically petted her face, and she chuckled.
“You look beautiful. Did I tell you that?”
His voice was a bit thick but not slurred like Mike’s had been. And when Paul complimented her, it pleased her instead of making her feel icky. Rather than feeling like meat on a platter for Mike to pick over, Paul’s words warmed her inside.
“Yes, you did. But you can keep saying it.” She took another drink from the glass in her hand. The bartender was either making the drinks taste too good or she was officially too drunk to taste the alcohol. She could have finished off the drink in the time it took her to walk to the bar and order another.
Paul had made several trips to get alcohol beyond their initial stop upon arriving at the party. He’d had just as much scotch as she’d had vermouth and gin, only she was clearly feeling hers more. The martinis were starting to systematically dismantle her common sense. She was probably eyeing Paul the same way Mike had eyed her, but she didn’t care. He was handsome as hell in his gray dress shirt with the top two buttons open, exposing his neck and tempting her to kiss his smooth skin.
She sighed, begrudgingly dragged her gaze upward, and grinned when he smirked at her. Yeah. She was definitely looking at him like Mike had been looking at her. She giggled and leaned into him. She was going to have a hell of a hangover with a strong dose of embarrassment in the morning if she didn’t slow down. Part of her said it was time to switch to water, but the other part of her reminded her it was New Year’s Eve and her husband was getting married.
The band started playing an old Eric Clapton song, and she pushed all logic and ideas of remorse from her mind. She pressed her chest to Paul’s and put her lips to his ear under the guise of making sure he could hear her over the chattering of the crowd, but the truth was she just wanted to feel his body against hers. “Dance with me.”
He slid his hand to the small of her back, and they both drank what was left in their glasses and then set them aside. He guided her through the crowd until they found space on the dance floor. Paul wrapped his arm around Dianna’s waist and pulled her close. Her head was already spinning from the alcohol, but she thought she could pass out when she inhaled his scent and the heat of his body started to seep into her.
She had a fleeting thought that they weren’t ready for any kind of relationship, but she discarded it just as quickly as it sneaked up on her. She wasn’t going to listen to reason tonight. Not tonight. They moved as one to the song, and when it ended, Dianna silently prayed they would play another ballad so he wouldn’t have to let her go. Instead, the lead singer announced it was one minute to midnight. The crowd cheered, but Dianna felt like she’d been kicked in the gut.
No. It wasn’t midnight. It couldn’t be midnight. Not already. Burning-hot tears sprang to her eyes, and she tried to stop the tidal wave of pain that was rushing over her, but she was instantly consumed and pulled into an ocean of misery. She gasped as the mask of happiness she’d been wearing all evening shattered and exposed the truth. She was heartbroken. She sagged against Paul, she dropped her head to his shoulder, and she shuddered in his arms as a sob erupted from deep within her.
He leaned back and put his hands to her cheeks. His face sank when he looked at her.
“They’re getting married. Right now.”
He used his thumbs to wipe her tears away, but more fell. He wrapped her tightly against him, and she clung to him. The crowd around them started counting down from ten, and her shoulders began to shake as every number felt like a dagger cutting at her soul. People cheered as a new year began, but Dianna cursed the moment. A moment she would never forget. The moment she stood devastated, surrounded by horns and kissing couples, while the man she had loved for so long married someone else.
“Let’s go,” Paul said in her ear.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin our night.”
“You didn’t.”
She scoffed and scanned the happy crowd. “I wanted tonight to be ours, to be our good memory. I didn’t want it to be about them.”
The band started playing “Auld Lang Syne,” and Paul looked down at her. He cupped her face and put his forehead to hers. She covered his hands with hers for a moment and then stroked her fingers over his hair and cradled the back of his neck. As the song ended and people cheered, Paul dipped his face down and captured Dianna’s mouth with his. The kiss may have started out as a friendly welcoming of a new beginning, but their lips lingered and then moved in unison as Paul and Dianna simultaneously deepened the connection.
She wrapped her arms around his neck as he slipped his arms behind her back. He pulled her to him, held her tightly, and brushed his tongue over her mouth. She parted her lips in response and danced her tongue drunkenly along his. It was a desperate, hungry kiss that she felt all the way down to her groin. When she was breathless, she leaned back and met his gaze. His eyes mirrored what she was feeling—confusion, desperation, and sadness mixed with a heavy dose of lust and the recklessness that too much alcohol tended to bring.
She thought she should apologize for kissing him like that, but then he leaned down and drew her into another tongue-tangling kiss. In that moment, nothing else in the world mattered.
A body bumped into them, knocking them apart and back to the reality of standing in the middle of a crowded dance floor.
