Stonehill series collect.., p.111
Stonehill Series Collection, page 111
“What is it?” Phil asked.
“Just a kick to the rib,” she said breathlessly.
Phil didn’t seem convinced, and neither was Aiden. Mallory had lost a few shades of color from her cheeks, and a hint of concern shaded her gray eyes. Aiden started to get up to check on her, but she darted her eyes across the table at Jessica.
“Hey, you know what I need?” Aiden asked. “Parmesan cheese. Jess, is there any in the fridge?”
“I’ll check.”
As soon as she was gone, Aiden said with a lowered voice, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Mal insisted. “Just a little discomfort. But I’m about to pop a baby in a month, so that’s normal. Right?”
Meg leaned forward, pinning Mallory with a concerned gaze. “What kind of discomfort?”
Before she could answer, Jess returned and handed Aiden a bottle of pre-grated cheese. The tension around the table returned, but this time, it wasn’t between Aiden and Meg. Phil continually glanced at Mallory, who had become unusually quiet. Meg did a good job of distracting Jessica, and their conversation filled the room. By the concerned look on Phil’s face, Aiden guessed this wasn’t the first time Mallory had had such severe “discomfort.”
Chapter 3
Meg left Mallory’s the moment she could make an escape without being rude. She thought she’d done a pretty good job of hiding how eager she was to get away from Aiden. When Mallory started texting her just a few minutes after Meg arrived home, she used the opportunity to push Mallory to call Phil’s mom. Kara was a midwife and would drop everything to check on Mallory.
As soon as Mal confirmed that Kara had arrived, Meg sank into a hot tub to try to wash thoughts of Aiden away. But she hadn’t relaxed a bit. She kept replaying old memories of Aiden over and over in her mind. And then the recent one that was even more unnerving: his attempts at an apology. That night as she fell asleep, she was haunted by her conflicted feelings about Aiden past and Aiden present.
When she woke up after a restless night of bad dreams, she immediately texted to check on Mallory. And of course the very next thing she did was replay memories of Aiden breaking her heart. She battled her thoughts on the entire drive to work.
The morning passed in a fog of fatigue and frustration. She was struggling to concentrate on her work when Courtney, the office receptionist, poked her head into Meg’s office.
“Hey,” Courtney said with a tone of uncertainty. The usually perky woman bit her lip before whispering, “Aiden is here. He’s asking for you.”
Her first reaction was surprise. Why would he be there to see her? But she did her best to smile as if she were expecting him. “Thanks,” she said as lightly as possible. If she let Courtney know how unsettled she was, that would only give everyone more to talk about. Instead, she walked into the lobby of the O’Connell Realty office as confidently as she would any other time. “I’ve got this,” she announced, and like meerkats dropping back into their holes, the other agents disappeared into their offices. Even if they weren’t watching, Meg suspected their ears would be tuned in.
“Mallory isn’t here,” she said to him. “Kara put her on bedrest until she can see her obstetrician.”
“I know. I actually came to see you. If you aren’t busy, do you think we could…”
He left the rest of his statement unspoken. She wanted to scream at him. He always did that. He always left things unsaid. and she’d finish his thoughts for him. He somehow thought that mattered. That he deserved credit for showing up and uttering just a few words. It didn’t count. Unspoken words didn’t count. Not anymore.
“What?” She refused to even consider budging until he said what he meant.
“Talk. About us. Where we go from here.”
“Where we go?”
He shuffled his feet and stuffed his hand in his pockets. “I mean…how we make it easier to be around each other.”
“I’m at work.”
“Maybe I can steal you away for a coffee break?”
She wanted to refuse him. She should refuse him. However, if she didn’t settle this now, she was never going to get anything done anyway. She’d replay him leaving and her broken heart and this conversation. She’d replay every moment she ever spent with him and every moment she spent missing him. The only way to break that insanity-inducing cycle before it started was to deal with him now.
She frowned, certain she was going to regret this. “Let me grab my things.”
He smiled in response, and she wanted to retract her offer. He was getting his way. As always.
Meg reminded herself this wasn’t about Aiden. This was about her. She was doing this to put the past to rest for herself. Not him. After gathering her coat and purse, she leaned into her boss’s office. “I’ll be back.”
“Take your time,” Marcus said.
She hadn’t doubted the entire office knew the situation, but the paternal concern in his voice confirmed it. She’d seen that same look on his face when he was worried about Mallory, his wife, or his sister.
She didn’t say anything to Aiden as they left the warmth of the office and marched toward her car.
Aiden matched her rushed stride. “A lot has changed since I left.”
“Yes, I know.”
“But the town still feels the same,” he said once they were inside the car, “like nothing has changed at all. It’s strange. Like living in some alternate universe.”
She didn’t respond. Nothing that came to her mind was nice. Maybe if he hadn’t left, he would have been here when the café had been remodeled. Maybe if he hadn’t left, he wouldn’t feel so strange being here now. Maybe if he hadn’t left, they would have made all their big dreams and out-of-reach goals a reality. Maybe she wouldn’t have been too emotionally distraught to finish school and would have become a doctor like she’d planned.
She slammed her car door harder than was necessary and shoved the key into the ignition. The café was within walking distance, but she wasn’t wearing the right shoes or the right attitude to go that far with Aiden at her side. She’d be too tempted to slip off her red Kenneth Cole bootie and shove the pointed heel through his eye.
He cleared his throat. “It’s great that Mallory and Phil are having a baby, huh?”
Just like that, the sharp edge of her attitude softened, and she relaxed into a genuine smile for the first time since he’d suddenly appeared back in her life. Even Aiden couldn’t diminish Meg’s excitement about the baby. “Yes. It’s wonderful.”
“Do you know what they’re having?”
“They want to be surprised,” Meg said. “I can’t imagine not knowing. It would drive me crazy.”
Aiden laughed. “You always did have to plan ahead. You take Type A to the next level.”
Her smile fell as she glanced over at him. He opened his mouth but didn’t try to correct himself. She didn’t correct him either, mostly because he was right. At least he used to be. He apparently hadn’t realized the Meg of today was a different woman than the one he’d left behind. He claimed that he had changed over the last few years, but so had she. Apparently he didn’t see that, but that didn’t surprise her. Aiden always had preferred to live with his head shoved firmly up his ass.
She parked in front of Stonehill Café and climbed out, not bothering to wait for her passenger. Even so, he rushed around her to reach the door first, which he held open for her. She filled with dread once they were inside. Her attention settled on several familiar faces, and they all froze as Aiden moved to her side.
“Great,” she whispered, knowing this would be the talk of their old social circles in no time. She looked at Aiden and was certain the same thought crossed his mind. He offered what could pass as a sympathetic smile.
Debbie Cooper finished muttering to her friends as she slid from the booth and rushed toward the former couple. “Oh, my,” she cooed as innocently as a serial killer. “If it isn’t Doctor Aiden Howard. How are you?”
“I’m good. You?”
“Just great. Hi, Megumi.” She always said Meg’s full name.
Meg hadn’t determined if it was because her name was unique or because Debbie thought using her given name would remind Meg that she was Japanese. Meg figured it was the latter, but she didn’t let it bother her. Debbie had dated one of Aiden’s friends when they were in college, but she’d clearly been one of those women who treated the campus as husband-hunting ground. She’d finished her degree and gone straight into professional child rearing.
Debbie grinned that beauty pageant grin of hers. “Well, I never thought I’d see you two together again. I mean, after the way you left, Aiden. Poor Megumi was devastated. We all were.”
Meg scoffed at the blatant insincerity of the statement. “We’re just having coffee, Debbie. Nothing to get excited about.”
“Well, it’s the perfect day for a hot cup of coffee.”
“Sure is. Have a good day.” Meg moved around the woman, dismissing her and her fake smiles. She dropped into a booth and let out a long breath. She didn’t have to look in Debbie’s direction to know the woman was keeping a close eye on what was happening at their table.
Aiden looked around before he finally seemed to work up the courage to speak. “I’ve wanted to apologize to you. For a long time. I just…I guess I was too much of a coward. But I am so sorry for the way I left. In my mind, I decided it was the best thing for both of us. You needed to finish med school, and I wanted to go forward with my residency.”
“I’m going to call bullshit on that,” Meg stated. She stopped when someone approached their table. “Hey, Jenna,” she said to the café owner. “How are you feeling?”
The owner of the café touched her pregnant belly. “Like a punching bag. She’s going crazy today. How are you?” Her question echoed with an edge in her tone.
Meg knew what she was really asking. Small-town news traveled fast. No doubt Jenna knew Aiden was Meg’s ex.
“I’m okay,” Meg said, answering the real question. “Can I get a coffee?”
“Sure thing. And for you?”
“Same,” Aiden answered.
When they were alone, Meg continued. “We’d had a hundred conversations about our plans for the future, and not once did that include you ending things to move away. You blindsided me, and you did that intentionally. We had agreed on the list of places you were going to apply because they were close to schools where I could transfer. We had planned to make that move together, Aiden. You didn’t even tell me you had applied to a residency in New York. You hid that from me. You lied to me about your intentions. Instead of just telling me you didn’t want the life we had talked about, you bailed without warning. I should have seen it coming. I think on some level I did, but I’d convinced myself I was wrong about you. I wasn’t.”
He actually looked ashamed of himself, something she didn’t know he knew how to do. “You’re right. We did have plans. When we made them, I had every intention of following through. I got scared.”
“I’m sure you did, but instead of talking to me about having doubts, you bailed.”
“I know I hurt you. A lot. And I know you’re angry.”
They sat quietly as Jenna placed two mugs on the table. Once the woman moved to check on other customers, Meg pushed the sugar container closer to Aiden and watched him pour far too much into his mug. She’d never understood how he didn’t have a cavity in every tooth with all the sugars he ate and drank. When they were together, she’d tried to get him to ease up on the sweets, but from the amount of sugar he’d added to his coffee, she guessed he never had.
She didn’t want to think about their rare lazy mornings. On the occasions when their schedules synced up and they could be in the same place at the same time, they lazed around and sipped coffee and dreamed about the future they wanted. Meg had cherished—no, she had lived for those moments. She’d been such a fool.
“I thought you loved me,” she said, surprised how weak her voice sounded.
“I did love you.”
“No, Aiden, you couldn’t have. You walked away. Like I didn’t even matter to you.”
He exhaled slowly. “I have been trying to find the courage to tell you, to explain.”
“You don’t have to explain. You aren’t some puzzle that can’t be solved. You were a cocky, self-centered asshole. You saw an out and you took it. You thought your life was just beginning and I was going to hold you back from something better. You thought you were going to go out into the world and life was going to be amazing and you’d never have to look back. But you got out there and realized it’s ugly as hell, and all the sudden your little town and inexperienced girlfriend weren’t so bad after all.”
He stared at her. She waited for him to argue. He just kept staring.
“Am I wrong?” she finally asked.
“No.”
She sipped her coffee and then looked around. Debbie was watching as she talked on the phone, and it took all Meg’s strength not to flip her the bird. “You’d think she’d have better things to do than talk about us.”
Aiden glanced in Debbie’s direction but didn’t let his attention linger. “Seeing us having coffee together is going to be good chatter for a while. But it’ll pass.”
“She loved it, you know? When you left. How you chose your career over me. She ate it up.”
“You’re right, Meg. I thought leaving everything—including you—was going to be the best thing. I thought I was going to go out and build some great life. Being in New York, seeing the things I did, was a not some great opportunity. It was a nightmare. You can’t believe the shit I saw. It’s insane what people do to each other. The kind of violence and neglect humans inflict on each other. It’s crazy. But it was the wakeup call I needed to understand that I was lucky. I thought my life was so tough because my parents pushed me so hard and set rules and gave me expectations to live up to. I thought what you and I had was common, that I could find it again whenever I wanted it.” He raked his hand over his hair and scoffed. “We loved each other, Meg. Really cared about each other. I didn’t realize how rare that was.”
Meg swallowed when the urge to wrap her arms around him and make him feel better hit her with the force of a jackhammer. He was clearly haunted by the things he’d been through during his residency. But she stopped herself from coddling him. That was her problem. That had always been her problem. She was an enabler where Aiden was concerned. She’d always made excuses for his behavior and let him get away with everything.
Aiden had been too busy playing football with the guys to study for his chem test, so she’d stay up all night giving him a crash course. Aiden had spent his half of the rent on expensive clothes to impress his friends, so she’d rearranged her budget to cover him. Aiden had always needed rescuing, and Meg had always been on standby to save him.
She’d just been so happy to have someone who she finally felt was on her side, someone she’d thought she could be enough for, that she had waved off all his bad behaviors. She’d spent her life living in her sister’s shadow, and Aiden had freed her from that self-imposed cage. She would have done anything to keep him.
She would have even dropped med school to move to New York. If only he’d given her the opportunity. She closed her eyes and sighed. “Can you answer one thing? Honestly?”
“I’ll try.”
“Why are you back? You were so determined to get out of here, even before breaking up with me. Why are you here, buying a house and taking a job at the hospital?”
He gave her a sad excuse for a smile. “Because I realized I was wrong. I made a mistake by leaving. I want to be here, with my family, which includes Phil and Mallory and their kids. And you. Even though you hate me.”
“I don’t hate you,” she said. “I hate what you did. I hate the way you think. But I don’t hate you.” Despite her determination to hold on to her anger for the sake of self-preservation, she let go of some of the rage that had plagued her for the last four years. Seeing him struggling so hard to even look at her took some of the sting out of her suffering. She could never forget, but it was time to at least try to forgive.
“So,” she said to break the awkward silence. “There’s something else we need to talk about. I’m worried about Mallory. She needs to rest, whether she wants to or not.”
“I agree,” Aiden said.
“She doesn’t need to be showing houses in her condition.” She sighed heavily. “I’m going to push her to let me take over her clients so she doesn’t overdo it.”
Excitement lit in his eyes, as if he could read her mind and knew what was coming next. Damn him.
Swallowing hard, she forced the words out. “That includes you. If you’re willing to—”
“I am,” he said before she could finish. “Actually, I would love that. Not only to give Mallory a break, but…” He smiled uneasily. “You were right when you said we have to find a way to be comfortable around each other. This is perfect.”
She didn’t share his excitement but met his wavering smile. “Yeah. Perfect.”
Aiden hadn’t expected Meg to help him find a new place, but he was glad she had offered. They’d left the coffee shop before whomever Debbie was calling could show up and witness the Aiden and Meg Show. Or at least that’s what he imagined the gossipmongers would call it. He had, somewhere in his mind, known his sudden departure would be a source of gossip for their social group, but he hadn’t allowed himself to think about how that might be like salt in her wounds. Part of him wished he’d said something to Debbie, but that would have only added to her list of things to talk about.
He wasn’t exactly walking on air, but he was happy with how things were going since coming home, and he didn’t want to mess that up by confronting someone who didn’t even matter. Soon, he’d be starting his job at the hospital and on his way to buying a home. Doing so with Meg at his side would give him all the opportunity he needed to prove to her that he had grown up. He wasn’t the spoiled kid he’d been when he left.
