Stonehill series collect.., p.24
Stonehill Series Collection, page 24
She hadn’t stepped a foot inside a salon since before Mitch had left, and she cringed thinking of the gray strands that had crept into her long chestnut mane. Months of sleepless nights had made the bags under her eyes dark, and her near-constant frown had deepened the lines around her mouth and between her brows.
So, no. Compared to Michelle, Dianna wasn’t beautiful. She probably wasn’t even that pretty anymore. But at least she was wearing the slacks and blouse she’d put on for her divorce hearing instead of the oversized T-shirt and yoga pants that had become staples of her wardrobe. If nothing else, at least Paul O’Connell’s initial comparison between her and his wife was of Dianna dressed nicely instead of the depressed bum she’d turned into. Maybe, just maybe, his first thought wouldn’t be acknowledgement of why Mitch went looking for another woman.
She forced herself to slowly exhale the breath she’d been holding. Out with the bad.
“May I come in for a moment?” he asked.
Startled from her thoughts, she looked into eyes that were similar in color to his hair—silver with flecks of black.
“Please?”
Dianna stepped aside and gestured toward the hooks on the wall. He shrugged out of his coat and hung it and his scarf next to hers.
“Would you like some coffee?”
“That’d be great. Thank you.” He tugged the sleeves of his suit coat down one at a time, a gesture that made her think he must be anxious.
She swallowed as her own nerves started to feel frazzled. “It’s decaf.”
“That’s perfect. I’m trying to cut my caffeine intake. I haven’t been sleeping well.”
“I’m sure that has less to do with coffee than other things.”
He pointed to the broken cup and spilled coffee on the kitchen floor as they entered. “Did that help?”
Dianna’s cheeks warmed with embarrassment. “No. Now I’m just pissed that I’m down a mug and have to clean up the mess.”
Paul’s quiet laugh was a nice sound, even if it wasn’t heartfelt. She couldn’t recall the last time someone had laughed in her kitchen.
She opened a cabinet and pulled out two mugs. “How do you take your coffee?”
“Cream, if you have any.”
“It’s caramel-flavored.”
“That’s okay.” He kneeled down and gathered chunks of broken mug.
“Don’t. I’ll clean that up.”
“I don’t mind. I’ve broken a few dishes myself. Although, I usually empty them first.”
She laughed as her cheeks warmed again. “I’ll remember that next time.”
He dropped the pieces into the stainless steel trash can next to the counter. While she filled their mugs, he wadded up several paper towels and wiped the coffee from the floor. “I’m afraid that’s all the cleaning I’m good for.”
“That’s plenty. Thank you.”
Paul washed his hands as the silence in the room pressed down on Dianna. She still had no idea why he was in her kitchen. He finally quit fussing and sat across from her at the table, adding creamer to his coffee. He stirred the liquids together much longer than needed. Each passing of the spoon added tension to the knot in Dianna’s stomach.
Finally, the quiet overwhelmed her. “Mr. O’Connell?”
He stopped stirring and met her gaze. “Paul. Please.”
“Paul, why are you here?”
He tapped the spoon on the edge of his mug before deliberately setting the utensil on a napkin. “I feel like I should—” He drew a deep breath and let it out loudly. “I’m sorry. For what she did.”
Dianna creased her brow. She didn’t know what she’d thought he was going to say, but that certainly wasn’t what she’d expected. “Why?”
“Why?”
“Why are you apologizing for your wife sleeping with my husband? Didn’t she cheat on you as much as he cheated on me?”
“Yes, she did.”
“So, why are you apologizing?”
“Well, someone should. Don’t you think?”
His question caused her heart to sink. Her eyes, which were still irritated from her last bout of tears, began to sting anew. Yes, she did deserve an apology. Too bad the two people who should be sorry for what she was going through hadn’t offered it, though.
“Yes.” She swallowed in an attempt to tame her emotions. “I think someone should. But I don’t think that someone should be you.”
“Maybe, maybe not. Michelle sure seemed to think her affair was my fault.”
“Oh, yes. I didn’t understand his needs anymore.”
“I smothered her. I needed her too much, put too much pressure on her to make me happy.” Paul looked far more than miserable. He looked guilty, as if he were to blame for being on the receiving end of his wife’s adultery.
Dianna wanted to assure him he wasn’t, but she didn’t have the conviction. She’d failed to buy that line too many times to try to sell it to him.
Instead, she looked into her mug so she couldn’t see the pain in his eyes. “Do you know… Do you know what today is? Is that why you’re here?”
“No. I’ve been meaning to stop by. I just hadn’t worked up the courage.”
“Oh.”
“What is today?”
Her lip quivered. “My divorce hearing was today. I just got home not too long ago, actually.”
“Jesus,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. May I ask how it went?”
The stress of the judge’s decision hit her again. “Um…not well, actually. I don’t know how I’m going to…” She gestured lamely at the room around her. “Our oldest son, Jason, is away at college and Sam is a high school senior, so the judge didn’t feel that Mitch owed me anything. I’ve been a housewife since we got married. I’m not sure how I’m going to…you know…” She pushed herself up from her seat when a sob started building in her. “When I get stressed, I bake. Would you like some cookies?” She didn’t wait for him to respond. She grabbed a container off the counter. “I made oatmeal and chocolate chip. Sam ate most of the chocolate chip ones as soon as they were out of the oven, but there’s plenty of oatmeal left.” She put the container on the table and sat down. “Please. I don’t need to eat all those myself.”
He hesitated for a moment but then grabbed a cookie. The silence returned as he took small, measured bites. She watched until she noticed the light glimmering off his wedding band.
“He wasn’t wearing his ring,” she said before she could stop herself.
Paul lifted his brow in question. “I’m sorry?”
“This morning. At the hearing. It’s the first time since we were married that I’ve seen Mitch without his wedding ring.”
Paul nodded, as if he understood exactly how much that had hurt her. He took the last bite from his cookie and carefully brushed the crumbs from his hands onto a napkin, which he folded and used to wipe the table clean. He chased the bite with a sip of coffee. “Look, there’s never going to be a good time for me to ask this, but I was wondering…”
“What?”
“I, um, I’m so sorry, but… When Michelle told me she was leaving me, I asked her what she was going to do when this great guy she was seeing decided he didn’t want to leave his wife. She said that wasn’t going to be a problem because you had caught them together. Is that true?”
Her mind again flashed to the night she’d walked in on Mitch and Michelle having sex in his office. He had her bent over his desk as he gripped her hips and thrust into her. Those sounds returned—skin smacking against skin, soft moans. Michelle’s black skirt was hiked up onto her back as she clung to the edge of Mitch’s desk, and his face was tense as he neared release—a look Dianna knew all too well.
She winced. The painful memory still struck her like a slap across the face. “Yes, it’s true.”
Paul’s cheeks lost a few shades of color, as if she’d confirmed something he was trying to deny. “Well, now she’s trying to say that her relationship with your husband wasn’t sexual.”
Dianna laughed bitterly. “Oh, it was sexual, all right.”
The muscles in his jaw tightened, and she had the sudden urge to reach out and stroke his face to help ease his tension. Her hand was several inches off the table before she realized what she was doing and stopped herself.
“I know it can’t be easy for you,” he said quietly, “especially having just gone through your hearing, and I swear to you I wouldn’t ask if there were any other way, but would you be willing to testify on my behalf? About when you caught them together.”
Dianna exhaled slowly. She’d give anything not to have to think about her husband’s affair ever again. She didn’t want to remember how completely unexpected catching Mitch cheating had been. Or how she’d walked into the room, as she’d done a hundred times before, carrying his still-warm dinner. How the Tupperware container fell to the floor. How the sound of plastic crashing onto the tiles pulled the lovers from their passion as shock rolled through her, numbing her mind and freezing her body. She didn’t want to remember how Mitch gasped out her name or how the woman he was screwing lifted her face off his desk to smirk.
Dianna closed her eyes, and hot tears slid down her cheeks. She didn’t try to hide them. Her pain overpowered her dignity, as it had so many times in the last six months. How could she care that this stranger was seeing her cry when her heart hurt so much?
“Please, Mrs. Friedman—”
“Dianna,” she spat. “I really hate the Friedman part right now.”
“Please, Dianna. She doesn’t deserve alimony.”
She scoffed. “God. Wouldn’t that be something? I was informed that I don’t deserve alimony because I am capable of work. Yet you think she’ll get alimony when she’s got my husband to support her.”
“I think she’s got a hell of a better attorney than you had.”
“Yeah, well, I couldn’t afford to pay the bills, support our children, and pay for a top-notch attorney, could I?”
He didn’t respond.
“Sorry,” she whispered as her angry words lingered between them. “That wasn’t directed at you.”
“I know. I have no right to ask you to go through this again, but she will get alimony if I don’t stop her.”
“Well, that hardly seems fair. To either of us.”
“So, you’ll testify?”
Those damned memories flashed through her mind again, bringing with them the familiar stinging and crushing of her soul. She reached into the container sitting between them and grabbed a cookie. She’d likely eaten a dozen the night before, but that didn’t stop her from biting into another as she debated.
“Yes,” she said, finding a conviction that she hadn’t felt for a long time. “Yes, I will testify.”
Chapter 2
Paul admired Dianna. Though she was very clearly hurting, she maintained her composure as the judge presiding over the dissolution of Paul and Michelle’s marriage asked deeply personal questions. Dianna’s voice quivered from time to time, but she sat, straight as a rod, explaining how the events unfolded that night. Sniffing occasionally, she described walking in on Michelle bent over Mitch’s desk. Paul’s gut twisted as details he really didn’t want to hear came to light.
The judge sighed audibly when Dianna testified that while Mitch buttoned his slacks and fastened his belt, Michelle took it upon herself to let Dianna know they had already found a new place and were all but living together. All that was left was getting rid of their respective spouses.
Paul should have been thrilled at the disgusted look the judge cast toward his soon-to-be-ex-wife, but he was hurting too much. Not just for his betrayal but for Dianna’s. She looked so vulnerable and small. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and promise she was going to be better off in the long run. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday she’d look back and realize she deserved so much better than that lying bastard she’d married.
Michelle glared at Dianna as she left the chair next to the judge, but Dianna didn’t pay any attention. She walked, eyes straight ahead, to a plastic chair a row behind the table where Paul sat with his lawyer. Paul noticed, however, and when Michelle looked at him, he cocked a brow, silently daring her to act like she didn’t deserve to be called out for her behavior. She smirked at him, and Paul wondered what he had ever seen in the cold-hearted bitch.
He turned in his seat and waited for Dianna to meet his gaze. When she did, he looked into her bloodshot blue eyes and offered her a supportive smile, which she returned. United in their misery. Solidarity in their heartache and humiliation.
Relief washed through Paul when the judge announced that Michelle wouldn’t get a single penny in the divorce settlement. What had been Paul’s, namely the house and bank account, would remain Paul’s. Once the courtroom was dismissed, Dianna slid her arms into her coat and stood. She had just moved into the aisle between the rows of hardback chairs when Michelle stepped in front of her, blocking her exit.
Paul ground his teeth together as he pushed past his attorney. Michelle had already put Dianna through enough, and Paul had done his share by asking her to relive her husband’s betrayal. He’d be damned if he’d stand by while Michelle rubbed her nose in the mess all over again. Luckily, Michelle’s lawyer reached the women first and gently but firmly pulled Michelle away.
“I’m sorry,” Paul said as he approached Dianna. “For whatever she said.”
“She didn’t say anything. She just glared at me like the petulant child she is.”
Paul’s lip twitched, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to smile. He lowered his face and ran his hand through his hair. Suddenly exhausted, his breath left him in a rush and his shoulders sagged.
Dianna put her hand to his upper arm and squeezed it gently. “Are you okay?”
He nodded before meeting her sympathetic stare. “I am so sorry. I know testifying wasn’t easy on you.”
“Couldn’t have been any easier for you to hear than it was for me to talk about.”
“Probably not. But at least I didn’t have to actually live through catching them. I always knew she could be callous, but the way she acted toward you that night… I’m sorry.”
Dianna’s focus drifted to the chair where she’d testified as she dropped her hand from his arm. “Well, congratulations. On not having to pay alimony. I guess that’s what I should say, right? Congratulations?”
“Yeah, I guess that’s what you’d say. Thanks. I mean it. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“If there’s anything I can do for you…”
Dianna was shaking her head before he even finished. “There isn’t. Thanks, though.”
Paul’s attorney approached them and patted Paul on the shoulder. “I’m heading out. If you need anything else, give me a call. Mrs. Friedman.” He nodded in her direction.
Paul looked at her when they were alone. She appeared stronger, more confident now, but pain still reflected in her eyes. He wished he could say something to make it better for her, but his experience told him reassurances and sympathy didn’t offer much comfort. Instead, he gestured toward the exit. “May I walk you out?”
“Sure.”
She waited where she stood while he gathered his coat.
As they left the small hearing room, he asked, “Is your divorce final?”
“Not yet. Any day now, my lawyer says.”
Paul scoffed. “Happy holidays, huh?”
A sad smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “This will be the first Thanksgiving in a very long time that I won’t be hosting a houseful of in-laws.”
“Well, maybe there are one or two perks to this situation, huh?” He smiled when she laughed. “I want to thank you again,” he said a few moments later. “I know you didn’t want to testify.”
“Actually, I was happy to do it. Just to stick it to her. That sounds cruel, but…”
Paul came to an abrupt stop. One of the things Michelle excelled at was making other people feel guilty for her wrongdoing. She’d stay out late, not call, not respond to his text messages, and then twist things around until Paul felt he was in the wrong for expecting her to check in with him. She was like a teenager testing her boundaries instead of a grown woman with a husband to consider. The fact that Dianna would feel an ounce of remorse for telling the truth about Michelle pissed him off.
“She deserves everything that happens to her,” he snapped. “If she hadn’t been so damned full of herself, neither one of us would be here right now. Neither one of us would have had to tell the judge what a selfish bitch she is.”
Dianna stared for a moment before tilting her head and giving him that damned sympathetic look again. “The rage sneaks up sometimes, doesn’t it? I thought I’d be beyond that by now, but just last night I screamed at a telemarketer for a good three minutes before slamming the phone down. The poor bastard asked to speak to my husband and had to listen to me tell him where they all could go.”
“I don’t want you to feel bad for being here today, okay? She deserved the consequences for what she did. She more than deserved the consequences.”
Dianna nodded. “Yes, she did. I wish I could have taken a picture of her face when she realized she wasn’t getting alimony. That was fantastic.”
“Not nearly as fantastic as my face when I realized I wasn’t going to be paying alimony.” He pushed the heavy glass door open, and they stepped out into the cold autumn day.
She pulled her coat more tightly around her and glanced up at the heavy gray clouds that were threatening rain. “Well, it was a good day for both of us, then.”
“Better than anticipated. Where are you parked?”
She nodded toward the north end of the street. Paul gestured to the south.
“Well.” She sighed. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
“Right. I hope, despite everything, that you have a good Thanksgiving, Dianna.”
“You, too, Paul.”
He started to thank her again, but he stopped the words. He’d said that already. And he’d wished her well. There was nothing left to say. She tilted her head slightly, patiently waiting. He couldn’t seem to figure out what he wanted to say.
