Rivers end boxset volume.., p.124
River's End Boxset Volume 3, page 124
“I appreciate that. If you’re sure you’re okay, it’s a pretty spot that overlooks the marina. And it’s very close to an ocean beach. If we time it right, you can watch the sunset and catch your first glimpse of what my granddad was trying to describe to you.”
Wow, it sounded so romantic. No, spontaneous. Strange to be doing this. He was awfully quick on his feet to suggest that.
“I’m sorry to spring this on you. Are you sure you don’t mind? We don’t have to, you know, hang out together.”
“I reached out first, right? I really didn’t feel welcome and assumed I’d never see you again.”
“I was just startled. That’s putting it mildly. And honestly? I was also a little embarrassed. My whole family lives there and if they found out I once…” Her throat went dry, and she had to cough. Her nerves were ragged, and heat filled her cheeks. NO! She should not be this way. She simply had sex with this man. Years ago. Consensual, wonderful sex. But now, her hot sensations were rooted in embarrassment.
“Yes. I expected it to be startling. But I failed to see how much so.”
“Unwelcome too?”
He slid a glance at her. “No. No, it wasn’t.”
“Do you think your granddad figured out we were a little more than old friends?”
“Maybe. But I doubt he cared. Or even bothered to contemplate it. Are we? Old friends, I mean?”
Blunt honesty. She remembered Matt often just stated things, even hard things to talk about and he didn’t shy away now. She liked his honesty. Usually, in a pickup situation, people tried to appear charming and used games and lies to achieve their ends. Matt was friendly and honest. Perhaps just at this moment.
“I don’t have a clue. It feels peculiar between us. Strangers, but…”
“But… yeah… we share a history.”
“A history,” she repeated with a glance his way and then back out the window. “You must realize that I don’t do that. Usually. Never, actually.”
“It might be hard for you to believe, but neither do I, which was why I remembered your name so clearly.”
“I remembered yours just as clearly.” She only conceived a son with him and tried to find him for several months. But did he remember her fondly? And their one night together? She really liked to think he did; especially since he had no reason to recall anything about her.
He pulled into a parking lot before a single-story building with glass front doors and huge windows that was obviously the restaurant. “Would you like to wander around the marina first or would you rather eat?”
“I would like to walk and see the marina. I really would.” She hoped it might calm her nerves.
Wearing heeled black boots, she didn’t anticipate doing much walking and hoped no blisters would form. Circling the building, Lillian got her first view of Westport Marina. It could have been featured on a postcard. At six o’clock, the hot sun was angled in the sky and reflected by the still water. The sky was a soft, pixie blue, not the bright, harsh, searing blue summer sky she knew at home. The street hugged the large marina, with bike paths and trails for pedestrians. There was a large, rock jetty that stretched as far as she could see. Rows of docks were lined up, giving it a street-like vibe except the large vessels that floated on the water replaced the cars. The docks were labeled alphabetically.
Each had a slanting gangplank that connected it from the street down to the docks. The edge of the harbor had countless slips and mooring spaces along it. Staring out at what seemed to be mostly personal watercrafts and small charter boats, Lillian was impressed. She saw several incredible sailing yachts with their large masts pointing high and standing out amidst the smaller sailboats. She had no clue how many kinds of boats there were. A large observation tower stood at the far end of the docks, butting up to the rock jetty that surrounded the harbor. It protected the anchored vessels from the pounding waves. The rumble of the waves on the shore was audible although Lillian couldn’t yet see them.
That was what the ocean sounded like? That beastly roar? A thunderous rhythm of unbridled power? She knew what ocean surf looked like from movies and photographs. But hearing that visceral crashing on the shore stimulated all of her senses. The air seemed heavier and the saltiness and unfamiliar scents that were both foreign and pleasant drifted towards her. She was reminded of the seafood section at the grocery store, but it was not as overpowering. Seagulls perched and flew, landing on the docks and boats with unending movement. The boats dipped gently up and down as the small waves lapped their sides.
One entire side of the street had gangplanks, going down as far as she could see. The other side of the street was peppered with businesses and shops. Lillian walked down a large, wide sidewalk with symmetrically placed planter boxes, brimming with colorful flowers. The light poles that rose up from them held American flags that flapped in the gentle breeze. It was attractively quaint and idyllic when the afternoon sun made it glow with a golden sheen.
“Wow, this is unbelievably beautiful.” Lifting her eyes from the exciting scenes before her, she glanced at her escort. Matt gave her a nod and his eyes gleamed with approval of her.
“I think so. For a small seaport, they’ve done a good job at making it pleasant and picturesque to draw in the tourists. You can’t miss all the RV camping and motels on the neighboring streets. There are endless miles of beaches and several access points, including this marina, and all are within walking distance.”
“You keep your ship anchored here?”
He tried hard not to smile and had to bite his lip to keep the laughter contained, but it still came out as an odd marriage between a snort and a grunt. She realized at once she said something wrong but wondered what it was.
“Um… I have a boat. And ships are much bigger vessels than what I have.”
She let out a laugh. “Oh, like those cruise and cargo ships I’ve seen advertised on TV?”
“Yes.”
“I feel like a green newbie.”
He shook his head. “How could you know? You never did this before, right? You never saw the ocean and the seaside, so you probably never heard the lingo.”
“No.” She ducked her head when a little blush heated her cheeks.
“Imagine all the stuff I don’t know about animal care that you take for granted. If we had a contest for general knowledge, we both know you’d far outscore me, so don’t feel embarrassed. And ask away. There is nothing you can ask me that I wasn’t asked before. And unlike most rookies, you are super intelligent so whatever question you come up with would make perfect sense.” He then nudged her. “But yeah, to your original question my boat is moored on Pier D right over there. The one with our last name on it.”
Her gaze scanned to where he pointed. Immediately she noticed the large, white boat with Griffin Family Charters written on the side of it. It had an enclosed cabin with multiple length antennae rising high up into the sky off of the cabin’s rooftop. The front of the boat had a silver rail around it, and the back was a large open deck. There were three separate motors hanging off the back, two large and one smaller. It seemed an impressive boat.
But to spend all day fishing with strangers in that space would be tight quarters. She turned to him, head tilted and asked, “Wow. That is bigger than I could ever imagine handling. But you must get along well with people then? I never thought about it before, but your job requires that you have daily new client interactions.”
“I do. Most of the time. Sometimes, I get repeat customers, but most of them are new. And I guess I’m not too terrible or I couldn’t stay in business. The grizzled, old fisherman you see in movies won’t do. I gotta be charming and engaging with my clients in order to make them feel welcome. We’re thrown together in such a small space; we instantly have to cope with the cramped quarters, so you have to start talking and interacting. Then once we get out to the fishing spots, my clients are usually seasick, scared, or elated. Some claim to be having the time of their lives. I have to reciprocate their attitudes when I’m out there. But once we start catching fish, it’s an instant ice breaker. I don’t know what spawns it but using teamwork to extract a magnificent creature from the deep, rolling seas is something that makes people bond. They all say the exact same things. Honestly, I could play a video and record their common reactions. It’s the best part of the job. The worst are the seasick clients who fail to respond to the seasick pills. They kind of hate me during the entire trip. Nothing I can do about that. But some of them look at me as if I’m Poseidon, the god of the sea. Some want to fulfill a lifelong dream of catching a certain fish or a certain size of fish. Others just like to be out on the open ocean.”
He glanced at her and then away, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. “I, uh, guess I am overly chatty from habit. Never realized it before.”
She couldn’t restrain the warm, huge grin that split her face in two. “I love hearing that you enjoy your job so much. You create special experiences that people can check off their bucket-list items or just throw up and feel miserable. So, your career is unique and interesting as well as ever changing. And apparently, you really do love it.”
He gave her a grateful look. “I do enjoy it. At least you didn’t laugh and snort like I did when you said I owned a ship. I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to react that way, but it was so adorable coming from you. Not the first time I’ve had to make the distinction, but it always makes me smile when people call my boat a ship.”
“Laugh then,” she replied with her own huge smile.
He shook his head and a boyish grin appeared on his face. “Right. Laugh. Should we go eat and then I’ll introduce you to the Pacific Ocean?”
“Yes!” she agreed, hating her enthusiasm for the plan. She dreaded what was next to come. Sitting down to talk some more to this man like it was the best first date ever was not her intention.
Oh, no. What was she doing? This was a reconnaissance mission. This was stealth-mode espionage. Not a freaking date. But her heart skipped with anticipation as they walked side-by-side and his hand grazed hers. Barely touching, but heaven help her if she couldn’t feel the heat coming off it.
They walked into the dark entry of the restaurant. It was better than Lillian expected with dim lighting and deep, subdued colors for dramatic impact. The hostess asked them to follow her further into the room. Tables were set with crisp, white tablecloths and the high-backed booths created the illusion of privacy. They were seated beside the large windows that overlooked the marina. It was very pretty and somewhat romantic.
Sliding into their seats, they each took their menu and waited for the busboy to pour ice water in their glasses.
They both perused the menu choices and Matt set his menu aside before she did. Then they smiled over the place settings and the expensive glassware that caught the candlelight from the low votives. The ambiance told her it wasn’t a cheap place and her guilt pained her. This wasn’t a date. She showed up on a workday out of nowhere. Literally. And he was so kind as to bring her here? His response and greeting were so much nicer than what she gave him.
Matt had to deal with the public on a daily basis and his easy-going, sincerity and charm made it hard to find fault with his attitude and demeanor. She was encouraged by that, but it was no guarantee. One never knew the inner motivations of someone else, even the most pleasant, polite, funny, and genuine ones.
“Did you find a vegetarian option?”
“Yes, I’ll have a simple chef salad without the bacon and ham bits. What about you?”
“Oh… the fettuccine sounds good.”
“The seafood combo?”
“Nah. The plain sounds nicer.”
He didn’t choose the seafood he no doubt brought her here to sample and which she would probably have appreciated and loved. Given his profession and their location, sampling the local seafood would be the usual date. But not for her. Not for someone who didn’t eat any of it.
“You can order seafood fettuccine. I don’t expect anyone to avoid eating their true preferences in front of me if they have no problem accepting my preference.”
He shrugged but gave her a warm, knowing smile. He was doing it only for her. Unusually sweet. “Nah. I just feel like it right now.” He rested his elbows on the table and leaned a few inches forward to take the glass of ice water and sip it. His gaze stayed glued to her face. He seemed to scan and memorize it. It should have made her uncomfortable, being too intense, and too knowing. But damn it. Lillian was doing the exact same thing.
He was so symmetrical in his build. She studied the slashes of dark eyebrows over his thick, dark eyelashes and the bright brown of his eyes and wide Roman nose. His high cheekbones and slender jaw were very masculine. But his crowning glory? That was the thing that first attracted her to Matt and what she adored about her son. Swirls of chestnut ringlets adorned Benny’s little head. They twirled and flopped through her fingers and now she literally itched to dig into Matt’s hair and grip the strands as she tugged his face—
No. Oh, no. She had to banish such thoughts. She was losing her grip on herself.
Yeah, anyway, she really liked Matt’s curls. And her son’s adorable ringlets melted her heart. Matt was the adult, mature version of her son’s strong features and it was so uncanny to see that, which was why she couldn’t stop staring. So rare and unique. Good God. Matt’s gene pool must have been very dominant because he created a tiny replica of himself in their son.
Their son.
She grabbed the glass of ice water and downed two large gulps as the thought spun around her head with far too much power and magnitude than she preferred. Here she sat, enjoying a lovely restaurant and harbor view with her child’s father. Technically, they were parents, yet he didn’t know. The truth was both cruel and terrifying. To her. Cruel that she knew and he didn’t. And meeting Benny was knowing her true purpose in life. It was also terrifying if she read him wrong. What if he was performing the charming niceties to conceal the inner asshole or even a child predator?
Not that she suspected that, but her nerves were so scattered that she didn’t know. And before she could reveal Benny to him, she simply had to be sure. So, she sipped her ice water and swallowed and stayed silent.
She couldn’t resist marveling how much their son resembled Matt.
God help her. A sweeping warmth started in her stomach, filling her up and flowing like warm honey throughout her entire body.
“So, if I remember correctly…” The urge to speak was prompted by the reminder that although Matt remained a damn stranger, she had sex with him and gave birth to his child. She kept her gaze fastened on his face. She refused to allow the images of his naked body fill her mind. Was he doing the same? Or letting those images run rampant?
So. Damn. Awkward.
“If you remember…” When she drifted off to her past thoughts, he prodded her, “You were saying, Lillian?”
“Right. If I remember correctly, you were still unsure about what to do with your life when I met you. I honestly assumed you were a student at the same school I attended. I only realized later you were not. You weren’t working as a charter boat captain back then since you didn’t talk about it. I assume that decision came later.”
“You… you looked for me? And thought I was a student on campus?” His head tilted as his voice warmed with more pleasure and interest.
Her skin sizzled in what felt like a hot sheen. She worried that it was probably obvious to him. Lowering her gaze to the place setting before her, she nodded. “I did. But there was no Mathew Griffin enrolled there. When I realized I never asked how to contact you and had no other details except your name, I felt so lazy and stupid for not asking the most basic information, like where are you from?”
“Same here. We talked about so much that night but avoided the most direct and obvious topics. When you left so abruptly, I figured you probably regretted it and never wanted to know more about me anyway. I could have found you right off since you were enrolled at WSU, or at least I believed that. The thought crossed my mind several times, but my insecurity always stopped me. What if you hated me? Or really didn’t want to hear from me?”
Didn’t she know it?! The re-runs of that night haunted her mind for years. She kept looking for hints or clues as her guilt and confusion over what to do with an unexpected pregnancy and imminent baby crippled her. At the time, she believed it was hopeless, like looking for a needle in a haystack, so she let it go. But abandoning her search was never easy or guilt-free.
And now, here she was.
“I’m sorry I did that. I freaked out. It was not… my usual response. First one-night stand for twenty-three-year-old me. I usually avoid bar pickups actually, and never went there for any hookups. I freaked out and left, but later realized I did want to see you again despite the shocking results.”
“It was pretty shocking to me too. I wanted to see you again too, but my insecurity kept me from doing that. I find it soothing to my ego now that you felt the connection too and didn’t have regrets about it.”
They shared a swift glance at each other before they both looked away. She wondered what all these snippets from the past meant. They had a little connection, besides the son they created that night, but talking and spending time together were nothing to base her hopes on. They weren’t anything at all except perhaps a segue to a second date.
She kept her gaze on the flickering votive candle. “I felt it too. It confused me since I don’t often experience such things.”
Quiet descended on them for a moment and he cleared his throat. “So back to the start. When I met you at twenty-three, I was traveling around aimlessly, doing nothing. Visiting friends in the area. Figuring out my life. After leaving high school, I knew I wasn’t programmed for four more years of education. I considered several trade schools but never fully committed to any. I was working odd jobs to figure out what I might want to do in the way of a career. I was born and raised in the house I now share with my granddad. My grandparents raised me. I was a late bloomer in my rebellion and being relegated to the charter boat business by my granddad was not encouraging to me at the time. It seemed… so common. By never leaving the town I was born and raised in, I could only wonder how to seek broader horizons. So, I decided to pursue a new life.”
