Rivers end boxset volume.., p.142
River's End Boxset Volume 3, page 142
“After you. You were one of my first.”
“Okay, fuck ‘em before and after me.” She grinned with a new smile that was so different from her usual look.
Her hands were rubbing his back and waist, exploring his ass and moving around to the front and oh, damn… “I… we…”
“What?” she asked innocently, licking her lips and staring up at him with big, puppy-dog eyes.
“You can’t mean to…”
She smiled with a wicked gleam in her eyes. “Oh, but I do mean to, Captain…”
“How?”
“In your bed. And I swear I’ll be quiet.”
He gave her a stern stare, his dick jerking with instinctual interest towards her hand. “You promise?”
“Tell you what, you can tie me up and make me behave.”
His heart leapt at the thought. “Lillian, you’re not serious?”
“With you? Now? I think I am.”
His heart jerked to attention like his body did. “You are the most perfect woman ever created.”
She laughed, but he really meant it. Matt grabbed his pants and pulled them on temporarily, while Lillian let her skirt fall back down and put on her shirt. Then they held hands like wayward teens sneaking out. But instead, they were sneaking in. Trying their best to be quiet, they somehow stumbled into his bedroom, falling onto his bed, while their clothes landed somewhere behind them.
She grabbed his sweatpants. “I think these would work to tie me up. What do you think, Captain?”
Matt’s mouth hung open as he stared at her on his bed, proposing that he tie her up with his sweatpants. He nodded, speechless, and the blood was rushing like hot lava in his veins. He grabbed the garment, and she politely crossed her hands at her wrists for him. Gently, he rubbed her pulse that throbbed. “I’ve never done this before.”
She giggled and his heart swelled. He not only loved all the things they did but also how she laughed when he was trying to tie her up for sex play. “Neither have I,” Lillian replied, pressing the back of her hand to her mouth to drown out the laughs that shook her.
Then the mood changed. Matt was crawling into the bed and laughing with her. Trying to contain his gut-clenching laughter with the pillows, they were helpless. The more they laughed or caught glimpses of the other laughing, the harder it was to contain. It was thrilling fun and so awesome to experience. God damn. Lillian was the best woman in the entire world.
They must have laughed for fifteen minutes over their failed attempt at kinky sex.
Finally, their cackling started to die down. Lying beside each other, he leaned forward, grabbing a length of her long hair and dragging it out of her face before tucking it behind her ear. “I guess we’ll have to get some better ties.”
“I don’t care. As long as whatever we do is together. It’s all great. Even this.”
“What? Trying to contain our laughter over something that should have been hot and sexy?”
“Especially this.” He took her hands together and instead of tying them, he leaned forward to kiss them. “These hands…”
“You have a hand fetish?” She was smiling without giggles now.
“No. I just like to think about all they do. Caring for my son, which you do so perfectly. Caring for all the animals of your family’s ranch and in the valley and now, caring enough to come here and be with me.”
“I thought you might say caring for your dick…”
He gave her a look. “I was trying to be romantic and that’s kinda crude, Dr. Rydell. Trying to seduce a guy who’s trying to woo you.”
She leaned forward to kiss his mouth. “You don’t have to woo me. You breathe and seduce me. I love the wooing though, to be honest. You think I’m so amazing when really I’m usually dropping all kinds of balls…” She held up a hand. “And there is no sexual innuendo there. Even if I might have slid it in perfectly.”
A strange laugh exploded from him. She made him so happy inside. She was so easy to be with. She provided everything his life previously lacked. He was content, even invigorated with this new life. No woman could add as much fun and dynamic power to the sexy friendship they shared, and which made him hot as hell. And yeah, he was no longer so damn lonely.
“You’re such a dork,” Matt said as he tucked the side of his face into her hand. “And also, brilliant. Funny… And just…”
Her laughter faded and her eyes lost their sparkle. She touched his face too. “Yeah, you’re just too good to be true…” Lillian started to sing, and he laughed.
They held each other and the quiet replaced all the kidding and fun and sex. “It’s dangerous to flirt with this, considering the problems if it went wrong. And we have to remain civil because we are parents together.”
“It’s pretty unbelievable to me. But it feels so damn right. I can’t explain it.”
His breath released. “I can’t believe you feel the same thing I do.”
She brought his hand to her face and kissed the back of it. His heart flipped at the sweet gesture, which he considered silly when it involved other people.
“I do. Every moment.”
They became quiet, holding hands and facing each other until their eyes grew too heavy.
Lillian barely moved when Matt lifted her from his bed at two in the morning and slipped her next to Benny. He wanted his son to know she was there in case he woke up. He kissed both their foreheads and feared his heart would explode from pure joy. How wonderful to have the two of them right there.
CHAPTER 18
LILLIAN ROLLED OVER WITH a soft moan of protest when her phone alarm woke her at four o’clock. Blinking with confusion, it took her a moment to orient herself: why was her alarm blaring while it was still dark out? Ocean. Matt. Boat.
He must have carried her back to her bed last night. Warmth flooded her body when she remembered all the things they did and how she felt. She not only initiated most of them, but she also demanded them from Matt. Wow. How unlike her. She started to blush as she lay there staring up at the ceiling.
Flipping the covers off, she sat up and rubbed her eyes. There was no animal needing her help or attention, no, not today. But Lillian would have to witness fish being killed for sport. She cringed reflexively at the very concept, until she remembered how considerate Matt was when it came to her preferences and differences in lifestyle. That took a lot of maturity and empathy. She could extend him the same favor.
She actually wanted to go on the boat. Not only did she respect Matt, but Benny was so thrilled to go out on a boat for his first time, she had to brave it. Running a brush through her thick snarls of hair, she stuck most of it under a baseball cap, pulling the rest into a thick tail that trailed down her back. She had fun remembering how her hair got so thrashed, and she did not pretend to be upset and even grinned when she recalled the images of her unbridled hedonism.
She begged Matt for sex. Outside in the back yard, pressed against the house. How appalling. And unusual for her. But it was also blazing hot. So hot she came three times, leaving her body more refreshed and sated than it had been in years. She didn’t even know how much she missed and deserved it but quickly realized she wanted it to remain an integral part of her life from now on. Like a magician, Matt created that hunger inside her.
Last night was pure magic. Enhancing their sex was all their laughter. Hotness and tenderness made a great combination. Love and friendship. He provided it all and she never imagined one man doing so much for her.
She wore her oldest hoodie, which she brought to sleep in, and black leggings. The forecast was mild winds, high tides and sunny skies. Matt mentioned “going over the bar” and she guessed a good weather forecast was golden. She would have never agreed to do it or trusted anyone else except Matt. He was careful, cautious and never too proud to defer to someone else’s advice if it provided a more expedient and safer solution. Lillian remembered the eeriest parts of the stories Matt and Granddad told them until late into the evening last night. They were much more gripping and chilling now, however, considering they were actually going to be out on the ocean today.
It was like watching a horror movie unfold while hating how scared it was making you feel. The story was so thrilling, it captured your interest and you became invested so you had to keep watching. You are frozen into thinking, “what’s next?” but the horrifying images keep reeling around inside your head when you’re all alone in the dark.
The stories Granddad and Matt told weren’t fake. It really happened to them on the sea, where she was going to be today.
Dragging herself out to the kitchen, she found Matt filling a thermos with coffee over the sink. Glancing at her, he seemed as fresh and chipper as a co-worker on a lunch break, not in the wee hours of the morning, prior to the crack of dawn. Matt was used to it, of course, being his work hours as he often told her. Matt couldn’t sleep past five in the morning, not even on his days off.
Yuck. Never happening for her.
When he saw her, they shared a long, piercing look. Sparks shone and flickered in both of their gazes and Matt had a lazy grin on his face. Feeling instantly at ease and comfortable, her face beamed as well.
“You want anything to eat?” Matt asked, breaking the spell.
“No. I’d better not before we get out on the ocean.” She had no idea if she had “sea-legs” since river rafting was the sum total of her experiences on a boat.
He let out a short laugh. “Good point. Just coffee then?”
“Yes. I’ll try a cup of that.” She took the mug he handed her and blew off the steam before lowering it down to the table. “Is there a bathroom on the boat?”
“Yes. Of course.”
“No, there’s no of course for me; I have no idea what facilities to expect on a boat.”
“Well, a commercial one like mine caters to paying clients who go out all day, so yes, we have a fully operational bathroom. It’s called a head onboard.”
“Right. Good. Then I can drink this safely.”
“Drink up.” He laughed. “Tides are high and winds are light; so it all looks good. You ready for this?”
She sipped at her coffee cautiously, and when it didn’t burn her tongue, gulped it down. “No, not in the least, but we might as well get it over with.”
“That is the most discouraging endorsement I’ve ever heard. Is it because we’re killing fish?”
“It’s more because of the treacherous bar that I don’t care to capsize on.”
“We won’t. I won’t. I’ve done it so many times and under every kind of conditions imaginable. If I could put in an order for the perfect day to cross it, it would be today.”
“I have to trust you with our lives. Okay. Then…”
He walked towards her, still shaking his head and laughing. “I should never have let you convince me to tell you our scariest stories at sea.”
“No. Last night, it was too much fun to stop, but these are the consequences.”
She flopped into a chair by the table.
He eyed her up. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure. But my brain isn’t working on all four cylinders yet. Thanks to someone in this room.”
He ignored the dig and the hot, sexy look she sent his way. Then he asked, “Are you good at your job?”
“The best,” she replied without pause or hesitation.
“Well, that’s how I am when it comes to being a charter boat captain. So, try to remember that.”
She peeked at him, but he didn’t glance towards her. Did he fear she didn’t trust him? She really did trust him. But the elements were beyond his control and that made her anxiety grow exponentially. The ocean’s water was so deep and vast, she couldn’t begin to conceive of it. But she owed him her trust, knowing he did his job very well.
“Okay. Point taken. We’re going fishing today.”
Matt slid another side glance at her, beaming with approval and damn! Her heart sped up like a reflex. “Damn right we are. Vegetarians and pescatarians…”
She smirked and ignored his comment.
He blew on the steaming coffee before him. “Benny really liked Granddad.”
“He did. But it’s pretty hard not to.”
“Yeah. That’s the general consensus, isn’t it?” He grinned.
She leaned forward, taking his hand. “Benny will see that in you too. He’s just not sure how to catalogue you in his life.”
“Yeah. I’m slowly beginning to understand that.”
“It’s a unique situation for all of us. But especially for him. I’m not sure if we handled it right, but when I analyze it from every angle, I still can’t see any other possible solution.”
“He just needs more time and space. It has to come naturally to him and all of us.”
Lillian nodded as she replied, “Honestly? It feels—”
Her voice stopped dead. Should she admit that to him? From the start, she found it hard to keep anything that floated through her brain from him. He was way too easy to talk to. Matt somehow drew out her words. All her secrets. She hated to have secrets between them.
“Feels like… what?” His gaze was heavy on her.
Licking her lips, her eyes darted away. “It feels so natural to me to have you around. and to be around you. I dreaded the thought of sharing Benny with anyone, but now I am impatient for Benny to understand that you really are his dad and that’s a good thing.”
Matt exhaled and shuddered as he replied, “That means a lot to me. You thinking that. Despite the colossal failures on my part. But it’s all been genuine. I really want to get to know him. And be part of his life and yours. I might never know how. But I’m always trying. I promise I will keep trying too, no matter what.”
Her heart thumped in her chest and she wanted nothing more than to believe him. She pressed her lips and said, “It will work, Matt, it has to. You can keep trying, and I want you to. I want—” She sighed as she released her shoulders. “I want you in Benny’s life. It shocks me to realize how strongly I feel this way.”
His eyes bugged out and his gaze landed on hers, staring with his mouth open.
She smiled softly. “What?” she finally asked when he didn’t speak.
His eyes shut and then opened as if it were a profound moment. “You can’t imagine what that means to me, coming from you. Lillian, you’re—”
“What?” she asked eagerly.
“The only woman I always hoped I could feel everything wonderful towards. You are someone I never really thought I could have. I can’t get you out of my mind. I share a son with you, and barely know you, but then again, there is no one I understand better than you. I live in abject terror that I’ll inadvertently mess it all up, because we have so much riding on it. I find it hard to believe you just said that.”
“Well, don’t you believe that I feel that exact way?”
“It’s so unreal to me, I’d have bet my boat against the odds it were true.”
Her head tilted. “Why? I mean… why is it so unreal?”
“Just look at you. Your life. Your family compared to mine.”
She jerked back and straightened up. “No. We aren’t going there. Neither our jobs nor our families decide who we are. Besides, Granddad is the best ever. So that’s all horse shit.”
“Yes, regarding Granddad, but what about me? You really don’t see the striking difference between your success in life and mine?”
She folded her arms across her breasts. “No. I don’t. That wasn’t my point.”
His gaze was glued on hers before a slow smile and a nod broke it off.
“You’re right, it wasn’t your point. Which was: we’re nothing less of fantastic together.”
A huge smile overtook her face, and she could not restrain it. “We are definitely that. We are. It’ll work with Benny. He just needs time. Seeing where you live and how you spend your time will help him feel like he knows you. Each element of your life is another puzzle piece for a picture that he’s trying to put together in his mind, and he will. I have no doubt he will get there.”
Matt glanced down at his coffee and then back up at her. She could not ignore the flecks of gold in his eyes that were also the same color as the coffee. She nearly groaned at the lame comparison and unusual musing, which rarely happened. She really had it bad for this guy.
Which was good since as he was her child’s father. And also strange for the exact same reason.
And it just wasn’t long enough! kept blaring through her head. But nothing could stop the burst of feelings that always began to flow through her whenever she was near him. Happy, bubbly, giddy sensations that Lillian Rydell never felt before. She tried to analyze how she felt since she had no control over them and could not stop it. Not that she actually wanted to.
Matt gulped down the rest of his coffee and grimaced. “Okay, I’ll go wake Benny and Granddad. You sure you’re ready for this?”
The butterflies in her stomach came from doing something so special for him, and for the adventure they were about to embark on in general.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Her doubts surged in her. “What if I don’t get my sea-legs? What does that mean?”
His grin widened and he had to laugh. “It means you’ll be seasick, and this will turn out to be the worst day of your life. But don’t worry. I have some drugs that minimize the effects, so it won’t be as bad as it could be,” Matt replied cheerfully as he passed her and gave her shoulder a squeeze.
She glared after him and sent a silent prayer up, please give me sea-legs.
“So, Benny. What do you think? Ready to get your sea-legs?”
“So ready.”
They stood at the top of the breezeway at the marina and gazed towards the mooring docks.
“Which one is it?” Benny asked as he looked out over the bobbing mass of boats and masts. The water had soft ripples. Sailboats and several charter boats and small personal water-crafts bobbed rhythmically in their slips.
“See that one? The one with the red line on the side? It says, ‘Griffin Family Charters’ that’s it, that’s my boat.”
