Rivers end boxset volume.., p.74
River's End Boxset Volume 3, page 74
The backyard was the same. Having long outgrown the swing set and toys, Andy didn’t care a fig when Gage replaced it with a water feature. He dug a small pond and filled it with a tinkling fountain and goldfish. It was lovely. They enjoyed the summer twilight as they grabbed a final glimpse of the sunset over their flat yard.
Watching the sun sink below far-off jagged mountains was always a treat. There were other houses and the view wasn’t as rural as it could have been, but it was usually quiet.
Now a mower was buzzing. A car lazily drove past. There was nothing unpleasant or uncomfortable about where they lived or the life they shared. It was great. They had enough money to live comfortably and an amazing house and yard. He loved it. And so did Andy. Happy in school and her extracurricular activities, he was glad to see her confidence expanding. She had the usual teenage issues. But they were nothing insurmountable. He had his parents and other family members close by who stayed involved and they all got along.
There was nothing missing in Gage’s life.
Except a woman. A companion for him.
He found one who was irreparably traumatized and hurt so what good did that do him? What hope could there be?
He tried to reconnect with all the things that formerly occupied his time, energy and thoughts. Before Violet, he was satisfied and his life interested him. He wasn’t looking for anything more. He didn’t want anything more. But since Violet Rydell kept taking over his thoughts and worries, he was at her mercy. How was she? Should she be by herself?
Would she ever smile again like she did in that picture hanging in the arena?
That slammed his guts hard. He never saw her smile that big even once when she was with him. And they had some seriously fun times together.
A sharp stab? Jealousy? Of whom? The dead guy? He shuddered at his own shallowness. But yeah, it was the dead guy. Oh, damn.
Now what?
Finally, it was almost time to get Andy and go to the very location that he no longer wanted to. The last place Violet smiled. It resonated with her presence even if it seemed to have no connection to her now. It still felt like it did.
After showering, Gage threw on slacks and a shirt before he left to get Andy. Her presence helped ease the moment. They ordered huge hamburgers with steak fries that were mouthwatering. Then they sat down in the bleachers and waited. A woman appeared with a headset hooked into a sound system. She proceeded to give a history of the ranch and showed a photo of how it used to be. No more than a little, wooden-topped arena that burned up in the great fire of ‘14.
Andy was enthralled at the forty-five-minute show. It was spectacular. And Gage felt stupid that he’d been so close and never came before. He promised to bring his parents and his sisters and their husbands and kids. Andy couldn’t wait to show off her new favorite place to hang. The food was decent too. Crap nutrition. Yeah. But what about Violet?
No. No reason to tell anyone.
He didn’t know what lay ahead in the future, but there was no doubt he’d continue coming to her ranch. There was the ghost of a chance she’d see him.
He had to go back to the mountain.
As the show ended and the applause thundered, it shook the stands. All Gage could think about was going back to the mountains. Back to Violet. He had to see her again if there was any chance for them… here.
What about Andy? He never left her for the company of a woman. He could just tell her the truth, and she’d die, that was Andy’s wording, to know the girl in the mountains was a Rydell family member. This wonderful ranch. Her new fascination.
And his.
But what about Violet? Now, everything about her and his time with her was different. New. Intriguing. Deep. Like they’d been together for years, not weeks. It was new, yet old. Such a weird situation.
Gage had to go back to her just to see if he couldn’t… what?
He still didn’t know, but it was something.
He’d make plans to go. Labor Day was on September eighth this year. School didn’t start until the tenth. So he could go. He could leave Andy with his parents.
He’d bribe her with extra horseback riding lessons. His mom wouldn’t mind taking her to them. He was sure of that. As long as he notified them in plenty of time.
Nodding to himself, his brain awhirl with so many things to do, and names he needed to contact… What would she be like when he saw her again? What would her reaction be? Should he bother to go?
Yes, and he would go.
CHAPTER 11
VIOLET RAPIDLY WENT DOWNHILL in the two weeks she spent without Gage. She felt lonelier than she could remember. Freaked out by it, she packed up the horses and rode down the trail, loading them into the horse trailer at the trailhead and driving into town. She stabled the horses with an old high school buddy who also let her shower and crash for the night. She went to the store the next day and stocked up on fresh supplies. With the horses rested and overfed, she hauled her supplies back into camp.
She didn’t go home. Not to the ranch. She just didn’t want to. Not in August. She needed a break from her family and their overbearing sympathy and concern. Plus, if she checked in, even temporarily, they’d find it harder to let her go off by herself again. Any physical proximity would prevent her from returning to camp. So she merely called them and avoided the entire scenario: her dad’s insistence she stay home with them. Her mom’s love and hugs and sympathetic eyes. Her sisters’ unmasked concern.
Claustrophobic. Violet could not stand so much sympathy. Yes, she’d watched her fiancé snap his neck. She heard it. Witnessed it. Dreamt about it. Her nightmares relived it often. And no one could significantly help her forget it or get past it.
So, naturally, she didn’t want to go home yet.
Refreshed for camping after a short break, she fully intended to banish Gage Sullivan from her experience. She recalled how much she liked being alone, isolated, in total solitude. But she was not lonely before. That was the magic key.
She fell back into her routine. She explored more of the area by taking hikes up to other peaks. She climbed many mountains she never did before. They were exhausting and primarily on uneven terrain, which did the trick: leaving her in a state of exhaustion most nights.
She didn’t dream. She didn’t cry. She didn’t smile.
She didn’t think about Preston… or Gage.
But she knew exactly when the Friday before Labor Day weekend arrived. And she wondered, no… she hoped to see him and hated herself for it. For that irrepressible hope. For another man. For his company, companionship, conversation, care… and sex. Most of all, she hated that.
But she still hoped for it.
She missed it. She longed for him to show up. She doubted he’d return. Not after he got back to his normal life. He wouldn’t care about her. She’d soon become a distant memory. A good lay. A wonderful fantasy.
Why couldn’t she believe that?
Gage? No, it didn’t fit him.
Finally, the sun began to set. She dipped into her newly stocked food supply and prepared a real roast with fresh vegetables over the fire. A complete meal. She let it simmer and the aroma was mouth-watering and homey. She sipped some cold milk from her grocery run. Living the life of luxury. She tipped her glass in a toast to her lonely fire. Yeah, not exactly what most would call luxury.
But what did it matter? No one else she knew was anything like her.
She sighed and turned and then… she froze solid.
How did she not hear him? See him? Sense him?
So thrilled with her simmering stew and cold milk, Violet failed to realize she wasn’t alone.
He was standing right there.
Gage.
Right there at the top of the trail where it entered her camp. There he stood. Staring back at her. Colors turned to shadows over the trees as the sun continued to disappear behind the peaks. He looked back at her, but his gaze was different. Deeper. His eyes seemed softer and more caring too. He didn’t smile. His mouth was set in a tight line. He tilted his head and slowly reached up to pull the shoulder strap of his pack off, releasing both sides. He let the entire thing flop to the ground, never taking his eyes off hers.
No reaction from Violet. But the change in his look intrigued her. She couldn’t interpret what it meant or remember him being so intense and… what? Emotional?
A flood of emotions seemed to flow from him towards her and worse… she felt it too.
Her mouth dropped half open and she forgot to smile. Or say hi. Instead, they stared as if they hadn’t seen each other for many years. Not merely days. Weeks. Two, to be exact.
It felt like forever. Way too long.
When she blinked, he seemed to lose the connection. Taking the four steps that separated them, he was on her. He swooped her up against him, his hands wrapping around her and his mouth claiming hers in seconds. She let out a startled but happy exclamation as she rose up to her toes and crashed against him.
He bent her backward as his mouth ate hers. He kissed her long and deep and hard. For minutes. Breathlessly. Their hearts literally pounding in their chests. Oh, damn.
Damn!
He finally let her go and rested his forehead on hers. She stared up at him even though they were close and she touched his cheek. “I didn’t think you’d come back.”
“I had to,” he answered simply. Then his mouth devoured hers again. And again. She finally let a laugh escape that was happy and carefree, almost girlish. When was the last time she felt like laughing? With anyone or anything? Years. Since Preston died, of course.
She held his face in her hands and let her gaze caress his features. She tried to memorize them. He was so dear to her. Too precious. Considering how briefly they knew each other and lacking any future together, Violet suddenly realized that only now matters. Today. The present. That’s it. That was the only guarantee anybody had, the present moment.
She studied him and a smile banished her frowns. Her sadness. Her reticence. “I have milk.”
He blinked as happy surprise lit up his eyes. “Did something drastically change while I was gone?”
It took her a moment to get his meaning. Then she snickered and slapped his arm as she let him go and grinned. So did he. “I didn’t mean inside my breasts, you pervert. I bought some at the store.”
He finally released her after committing every angle and feature of her face to memory. She doubted she was that good to look at.
“I see something simmering too. Did you cook, Vee?”
She nodded cheekily. “Up here I do. I made a roast and vegetables with seasoning and you’ll close your eyes when you taste it and think you’re the king.”
He let her go again and she stepped back to check on it. He began warming his hands on the fire. “You’re the queen out here; I’m no more than a lowly peasant.”
“Ha. Why did you call me Vee?”
“I missed it. I missed you.”
Why was he always so honest? He never hesitated to admit whatever he was thinking or feeling. She didn’t doubt him either, no matter what she asked. He always answered with the truth, and if he didn’t want to reply, he’d freaking tell her that too. He was transparent at all times, but he also held himself back long enough to be intriguing and interesting. Violet wondered if she’d ever tire of getting to know all about him.
He had such soft, inviting lips. Hot lips. He could melt her panties with his lips. Yeah, she was hot for him, and eager for so much more.
She pressed her lips together before she said, “I’m really glad you came.”
He turned back to her, and his gaze was blistering. Scorching. Intense. The opposite of a moment ago when it was mostly friendship. “Are you? Or just glad to have someone to talk to?”
She stepped back. “Yes, Gage, I’m glad it’s you. Only you. You know that…” She wrapped her arms around him. “You see where I am. How I live…”
“Right now. Then you go back home at some point and I assume you return to normalcy… right?”
“Yes. Whatever you call normalcy.”
He turned and stomped towards her, taking her face in his hands, pressing his body so close she had to lift her neck back to see him. He leaned down and touched her lips with his. Long. Connected. Demanding. “Tell me who you are. Tell me what happened that made you conceal your real name. Tell me… Violet. Tell me all about you.”
She blinked and gaped up at him. He’d kissed her senseless and then demanded information that left her brain whirling. Stuff she didn’t want to share. No, stuff she couldn’t share. Sharing would make Gage seek her out. She didn’t doubt his magnetic draw to her, and her to him. But going from casual friendship to this, whatever it was, would really be something. And something would only lead to more.
He’d want more from her. Like feelings and emotional commitments. But she could not, and she absolutely would not… yeah, like Dr. Suess, she would not, could not, should not… ever experience those feelings again.
They’d hurt her. They’d nearly eviscerated her. They didn’t kill her, no, but living with them felt like she was dead. She would never choose to endure that kind of vulnerability again.
It was a little dramatic and strange perhaps to refuse to say her name. But her name was so well known, Gage could find her. There was no chance she intended to continue this tryst once they were off the mountain. It was never supposed to happen up there. She never planned it. Holding back her name and general information was never her goal, and she never planned to hide her name from her lover. A man she… no, there were no words to describe how she felt now. She had no intention of having sex with him or wanting to see him again.
She stared up at him vacantly, speechless as her thoughts whirled around her brain. She shook her head. “Don’t. Please?”
He sighed and leaned his forehead against hers. Defeat made his shoulders slouch. “Why? Why not, Violet?”
“I already told you…”
“Yes. I know. No relationship. No love. Because you love another. But the saner, healthier, stabler, and more rational thing to do in this situation would be to talk to me about it. Tell me your name and what happened to you. Don’t you trust me with that much?”
She shut her eyes. The hope and pleading she saw in his eyes, and his obvious concern and feelings towards her buckled her knees. She could feel herself weakening… and all the stupid feelings inundated her at once.
“I can’t. I just… I just can’t.” She whispered the pathetic words, hating herself for her weakness. Why not simply jump happily into his arms, and express how glad she was that he was back? That she was in the mountains with him again. They could talk and work together and do menial chores… and have sex. She wanted sex more than anything. But saying her name and where she lived would compel him to see her again at home. She didn’t doubt that. Look how far Gage pushed her already. In the end, he had her explicit permission. He was that alluring. That amazing. That convincing.
But the mere thought of going home and dating made her heart beat rapidly and her breath seem trapped in her neck. She did not want that. She couldn’t picture it. She wasn’t ready. She might never be. She just didn’t want that.
She finally added, “It’s not you I don’t trust. It’s myself. I can’t stand the thought of dating again. I can’t be committed to anyone and I just… I don’t want any of it.”
He stared into her eyes. “But you want this? Right here and now? And that’s it?”
“Yes.” How to explain how safe she felt tucked away in the forest and mountain? She could pretend to be normal. It was separate from her life, and all the baggage that suffocated her when she was living it usually. Up here, she could be free from it. All of it. Which was crazy. Being emotions, they went everywhere with her. But she felt stronger and healthier here… and better able to deal with Gage. She gripped his hands in her own. “Can you handle that? If not—”
“Just go?” His eyebrows rose. She saw the humor in his warm face as his eyes roamed over her face and he viewed the compassion in her eyes.
“No.” She squeezed his hands tighter in hers. “No. We can just be friends and well… we work so nicely together. So maybe we could just hang out—”
“Yes. We do work nicely together. But I didn’t come up here to hang out or work with you.”
She swallowed, her heart leaping. “What did you come here to do then?”
He grinned. “To learn you name and your story. Maybe get your phone number. But probably the biggest reason I came back is… to have sex with you.”
Her entire middle warmed as her face flushed. She could feel the heat on her temples as she replied, “So, you’re still up for doing that?” she asked in a flirty tone and her smile tilted her lips up.
“I’m definitely up for doing that.”
She gave him a cheeky grin. “Oh, what a hero you are. Having sex with a woman who requires nothing but—”
She was suddenly being lifted up by him. Shocked, she laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. Everything inside her was lifted up and she felt full of light and laughter as she contemplated how good she felt.
How excited she was. He grinned too, carrying her to the cot, where he lay her down before he started kissing her. She ran her fingertips through his hair. Only then, did Gage lift his head, letting his mouth hover over hers.
“The thing is, Violet, I don’t want sex with a woman who asks nothing from me. I want to have sex with you, but I don’t want it to end here.”
Her smile started to fade so he started pulling on her shirt. “But I’m willing to take whatever I can get with you. All the time.” She sat up as he tugged his shirt over his head. Then he grinned again. “And all the sex I can get too.”
She shut her eyes and fell into his embrace as his mouth found hers again. His hands slid down her bare back and she shivered as she fell against him.
She wished she could give him more. But at least they had two and a half days together. Days that were priceless.
And they didn’t wait a single second. They made love three times that night. Gage brought in a whole box of condoms. Finally, she could scratch the itch Gage created in her. She was hungry for him. Over and over again. And he couldn’t get enough of her either.
