Rivers end boxset volume.., p.138
River's End Boxset Volume 3, page 138
The rapport between Matt and Benny grew substantially from that day to the rest of his stay there. Matt hung outdoors with them in the stifling heat. Most mornings began with them fishing along the river. Like magic, Benny started catching more fish than Matt after he learned to let the kid win sometimes. He showed Benny a few tricks that helped Benny hone his skills. They spent most of their spare time on the river because it was that hot in August and Benny said it was what he wanted to do. So, Matt did it. Matt still found her abundant family members both overwhelming and strange. Strange that they all lived there. His comments became predictable. Saying things like, “How compatibly they share their community.” Or “All you need is a doctor to cover most the major industries as far as jobs go, huh?” Or “This is like your own town, huh? Should have been called Rydell’s End, considering how the river and the valley were practically founded by you guys…”
Lillian became a little annoyed with his incessant comments about the family. She’d never heard anyone sound so disdainful about it. Maybe people got jealous, and some were surprised. But no one downright disliked it or called it “weird.” Most of their friends thought it was neat to stay so close and be able to look out for their own. Yes, the Rydells were successful, and most people considered that an admirable thing… but not Matt Griffin.
He thought they were weird.
The only ones who really didn’t get along were Lillian’s father and Matt. They were constantly in a pissing match. Lillian never addressed the subject with either of them. She was more than tired of their incessant slurs, which were poorly disguised and rarely subtle. They were a thorn in her side. Her dad was overly suspicious of Matt and refused to relinquish his control and time with Benny to him. Ben didn’t trust Matt at all, which Lillian resented. As Benny’s mother, she had more to lose than anyone else if she were wrong. But her dad wouldn’t give her that credit.
Unfortunately, they also couldn’t avoid seeing each other. Both Grandpa Ben and Matt became Benny’s favorites to hang around with. They fished together, hung out at the beach together, and even ate dinners together, all at Benny’s insistence. He loved it when the people he valued most were all together.
Lord help her if Lillian didn’t enjoy it too. Matt’s critical attitude toward the multi-tiered family members having jobs and living in so close an area simmered without comments, but Lillian knew the extent of his alienation. She had to forgive him since he withheld his true feelings from Benny and to her surprise and delight, indulged Benny at every opportunity. From tromping out to the barns to visiting a grandparent or another, to trudging through the fields to find his three favorite horses. Two were being boarded at the ranch and were not theirs.
Matt failed to comprehend the pros about ranch and rural life in a landlocked setting like this. He never got used to the hot, dry weather, but he was pretty amazing in his willingness to spend most of his time with Benny outside.
And Lillian.
That did a lot for her. How often (okay, never,) did any man spend time with her like this? Treating her like she mattered? Trying to provide for her wants, desires, and needs? He listened to her, and he indulged her. He was fun too. Even if he had misgivings regarding why they were doing something.
And damn! All that attention started to spoil her. Solely self-reliant as an adult and in her views of how to raise Benny, Lillian was oddly comforted by simply having someone there who was legitimately involved and so eager to be part of it. Not only her son’s life but also hers.
“So, Dr. Lillian, where do you hide your office? I haven’t seen it yet. Where did you tuck it away on the compound?” Matt’s eyes twinkled and his mouth smirked, which looked both warm and mocking.
“My clinic office isn’t on the compound, as you call it. And it’s a ranch, not a compound.” She gave him an evil-eye but smiled.
“Where is it then?”
She sighed and gestured across the river. “Securely tucked away over there.”
He let out a laugh. “Wow, so far from the family com—”
“Ranch!” she snapped with a glare.
“Ranch,” he repeated with a raised eyebrow. “I’d really like to see it. Why isn’t it located here?”
“Because the ranch animals are not my sole clients. Being closer to town makes more sense.”
“But if you relocated it here you could save all the office costs.”
She squinted her eye at him. “Inside the cult you call my family?”
He beamed and replied, “Exactly.” Then he shook his head and his expression returned to neutral. “Would you take me there to see it? That is, if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind at all.” She had to refrain from setting her hand on her chest to calm her beating heart. Every little thing this man did was so considerate and carefully thought out. It made her heart palpitate inside her chest. Lots of people did nice things for her but when Matt did them? He made her knees wobble and her heart race.
Benny loved going to his mom’s office, so they left and drove there in a few minutes. They entered a small reception area, separated by a desk where a part-time worker answered the phones, emails and greeted the walk-ins. The office hours lasted most mornings from nine to noon, and her afternoons usually found Lillian on the road, stopping at the various ranches and small farms to examine their livestock. A lot of time was dedicated to her family ranch, of course. She also personally answered calls and texts on her cell phone if anyone called the office and failed to get an answer.
As she showed Matt the clinic, she explained, “There’s no predictability from day to day for me. I spend most of my time here or in surgery; or being on the road to answer a call, which takes me all kinds of places.”
“You work as a large-animal vet, right? I didn’t realize you also worked with people’s pets.”
“Yes. I’m a mixed-animal vet. I treat any kind of domestic animal. Most mixed-vets spend two-thirds of their time treating large animals, but two-thirds of their income comes directly from the small ones. That’s how it works for me most of the time, excluding my family’s ranch, of course.”
“Yes, of course.”
She gave him a mock punch in the arm but considered making it a real one. He laughed, and took her hand for a long moment, squeezing it as his eyes sparked with humor and lust. “Just kidding. Really. So you don’t mind working with big animals? I bet you must shock some people when you show up to do what you do…” He cleared his throat. “I don’t say it in a sexist way, I wouldn’t think of doing that, I meant, when you show up to work your magic. But I expect there is still way too much of that kind of chauvinistic thinking.”
She gave him a quick smile. “True that. I show up at half their height with my long ponytail and I’ll admit, mostly the cattle producers give me the stink eye. After I jump through a few hoops and roll up my sleeves and get to work, they usually get over their distrust. Usually. Did you know female big-animal vets outnumber male vets right now? More women than men are enrolled in vet schools too and more female vets graduate than males.”
“Truly?”
“For real.”
“I had no idea. That’s actually kind of cool.” He glanced around and saw Benny playing in the waiting area with some horse statues. They were mainly used as decorations, but Benny always played with them and his creative imagination devised all kinds of adventures. “But I can totally see how intimidating you could be as soon as you rolled up your sleeves to work, then they better watch the fuck out.”
She beamed at him. “Yeah, actually you’re absolutely right. It is like that for me.”
“Such a mighty mite.”
“I’m not a mite.”
“No, you’re a mighty mite. Not an insult or compliment, just a fact.”
Beyond the waiting area were two exam rooms. Each had a long bench for seating and a table for small pets. The sink and cabinets were pretty generic. In the back was her surgery area, supply room and a few kennels to hold the larger animals she had to treat. At the moment there were none. The clinic was no more than a small office, so the tour was over in a flash. Matt looked around, asking her questions, demanding more specifics on the way she ran her practice.
“What’s the worst part of your job? Euthanasia?”
“It’s pretty tough sometimes. Yes. But I wouldn’t call it the worst part. Sometimes it’s a matter of giving relief, which is comforting for the owners to know their beloved family member does not have to suffer anymore. When a dog or cat comes in with terminal cancer and their quality of life is rapidly diminishing, it’s more humane and a huge relief for all to give them peace. It’s sometimes the best thing to do. But it’s never easy. And almost always sad. Worst cases for me come from abuse. Happens a lot. Not all are physically beaten up or injured but suffering from neglect or unsanitary living conditions is almost worse.”
“What is the worst you can imagine?”
“Being unable to treat a curable animal.”
“What do you mean?”
“When the family can’t afford the treatment. I do some pro bono work, but you’d be surprised how much it costs to run a tiny clinic like this. I’m not a charity and I can’t afford to fix every animal for free or even at cost. I hate to see perfectly treatable, curable animals leaving without treatment or having to be put down because the owner can’t afford it. That’s by far the worst cases for me. It causes so many sleepless nights and sorrow. I hate life-or-death cases that just boil down to having enough money to afford the treatment.”
Matt froze as she spoke and shook his head. “I never once considered that perspective. Damn, Lillian, you’re both tough and compassionate. I can’t—”
“You can’t, what?”
He smiled softly. “I can’t imagine how a woman, an amazing person like you, could manage to find me attractive.”
“Manage to find you?” Raising her eyebrows, she set her hands on her hips, jutting her elbows out, and her tone challenged his comment. “I didn’t manage to find anything. You are attractive to me.”
He swallowed and the ghost of a smile curled up his mouth. “You can’t imagine how good that makes me feel. And thank you for showing me where you work. But most of all, for showing me who you are.”
She nodded and smiled. “You not only asked, but you’re also interested, and you get it, which just about validates all my feelings toward you.” She stepped closer to him, reaching out to close the few inches between them with her fingers on his hand, which he dangled at his side. He clasped her hand as tightly as she did his. “Including how I feel now.”
He breathed heavily and her heart sped up. “Lillian, someday when we’re alone again, I plan to show you every blessed sensational feeling you could ask for.”
His smile was the perfect combination of being hot and tender and caring. She could feel his freaking respect for her oozing from him. Hers was growing just as deep, and just as fast.
Suddenly, Benny’s voice rang out. “When you gonna have a doggy back here? Soon?”
Matt and Lillian instantly separated and exchanged their guilty, hot glances before Matt turned to Benny and asked, “You like dogs, Benny?”
“I love dogs. But all we have are kitties.”
“He’s right. We have three here and two at home. And the ranch has several barn cats to control the rodent population. I keep collecting the strays and neutering them. It allows me to let them live in a safe place as well as helping out the ranch.”
Benny stared up at him. “Do you have a dog?”
“No, I don’t. I guess being on the water all day isn’t enough time to justify having one. But maybe…” His voice drifted off as he gave Lillian a look. “Maybe I should rethink that.”
“Really? Awesome. Could I meet him?”
Matt laughed as he ran his hand through Benny’s twisting curls. “Of course, you can. If and only if I get one.”
“Well, talk to my mom first, ‘cause she can hook you up. Lots of people ask her to take them.”
She nodded. “True story. I come home ranting about irresponsible owners pretty often.”
Benny shook his head, looking big-eyed. “People should never get a pet unless they can take care of it. Pets need food and water and exercise. And a house to protect them from the weather if it’s hot or cold. If people lose their jobs, they have to give up their pets sometimes. But that’s the only reason my mom understands because pets and kids are part of the family and they should always get all their love and respect.”
Lillian shrugged. “He listens to me, huh? But everything he just said is true. I feel passionately about animal rights.”
“Hence your vegetarian diet and choice to be a vet. If only all vets were just like you.”
“How’s that?”
“Tough, strong, tender and compassionate. One hell of a sexy combination, Dr. Lillian.”
Her freaking heart twisted at his kind words and his deep look of reverence and affection with a glimmer of heat that smouldered in the depths of his chocolate gaze was irresistible. Oh, damn. Lillian was quickly becoming smitten.
Too quickly.
She swallowed the lump of emotion that lodged in her throat and turned away in her effort to keep cool. “Well, if you decide to get a dog, just let me know and I’ll hook you up.”
His hand gripped her arm, and his smile was small but real. “Oh, you’ll be the only call I’ll make. I’d never consider having a pet if you aren’t involved.”
She gulped. She wasn’t sure exactly what he meant. Did he expect her to remain involved? How much? And in what manner? As his veterinarian? No, she believed it went far beyond being a pet owner with him.
But how could that reality ever develop when they lived halfway across the state from one another and neither of their jobs allowed them to relocate? Or even be away for too long. Damn. There was no solution.
They shared a son. And a mutual attraction that mystified Lillian.
CHAPTER 16
IT WAS GETTING CLOSE to the day Matt planned to leave. He had to go back to his home, his job and his way of life. It was almost dinner time and Lillian started to prepare it. Matt was cutting up the vegetables per her request. He felt far healthier than he did when he arrived since they constantly ate green, leafy foods. Everything was green. He thought he’d hate eating vegetarian food, but in all honesty, it wasn’t as bad as he expected, although not a life choice for him. Benny was visiting his aunt and grandparents, so it was the perfect time to discuss their next step.
“When do you think we should tell him? I mean, we definitely are telling him, right? I mean, yes, of course we are. But when? Before I go? And how do we?” Lost as usual, Matt relied on the primary parent of their son for all of his answers.
Lillian’s head bobbed and her long hair bounced over her shoulder. “I think we should tell him before you go home. That way, he can adjust to it slowly. Do you foresee any visits in the coming months?”
“Yes.” Matt could hear the wavering in his voice and hated having doubts. Why couldn’t he just say yes with confidence, affection and ease? But the thought of Benny being all alone with him, solely under his supervision, terrified him. What if he missed something? Real, serious consequences could result if he lacked the sense to ensure Benny’s safety and health in all events and circumstances. Matt wasn’t willing to risk Benny’s wellbeing just to have what he wanted most now, which was filling his role as a father. He still had no damn clue if he were on the path of success. “If you agree to them.”
“I certainly do. Benny might be more comfortable if I came the first time. But once he knows he’s safe with you, I’m sure he can visit more often…”
Matt nodded. So many questions and unknowns still concerned Lillian and yet she never tried to fully shut him down.
“Then I think we should go ahead and tell him.”
“How?”
“Explain that you didn’t know about him but now that you do, you would like to see him more often. Make him understand it was no one’s fault, and no one made a mistake. We don’t need to be too detailed. He’s young enough to accept any answers from us without asking too many questions. Maybe later on, he will require more details, which honestly, sounds terrifying.”
“It really does. But I’m ready to tell him now. If you are.”
Lillian hesitated before a small, soft smile appeared on her lips. “Matt, you must realize as his father, you can decide to tell him anytime you choose.”
Matt shook his head. “I would never do that on my own. Never. I respect you as his primary parent. I’ve observed enough to know your first priority is and always will be Benny’s wellbeing, whatever form that takes, I have no doubt it will always come first. You aren’t a vindictive person. You don’t want to fight me for Benny’s custody. Hell, you invited me here, which already gave me a slight advantage, for lack of a better word. I won’t turn it into a fight. No matter what happens, I vow to honor you as Benny’s primary parent, because I know you will insist on it too.”
Her entire posture seemed to melt into a puddle on the floor. “You can’t know what that means to me. I did bring you here and I was so afraid at the time. But I also knew that it was the right thing to do if you were even half the man I observed and believed you were.”
“Thank you. I like to think I’m at least that decent. I’ll try to set my ego aside, and like you, always put Benny first.” He rolled his shoulders to relieve the tension from thinking about his imminent mission. Benny, I am your father. He couldn’t stop visualizing Darth Vader from The Empire Strikes Back telling Luke Skywalker the truth. Even the damn voice kept echoing in his head. Not helpful. Why couldn’t he be half as confident and mature as Lillian seemed? Would that also come with time? Maybe becoming a parent just automatically made one wiser.
