Rivers end boxset volume.., p.72
River's End Boxset Volume 3, page 72
He felt her back muscles relaxing. He knew she was relieved he didn’t fling her off him the way she’d reacted when he’d hugged her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. Her face and mouth were muffled by his sweatshirt. “Don’t leave. Not… yet.”
He didn’t get her but that was nothing new. However, the two extremes of hot and cold perplexed his weary brain. So… yeah. Great. How could he resist her, when she was exactly the woman that he wanted? In so many ways. Too many to articulate. “Can we just be normal?”
“Not talk about it, you mean?”
“Yes.”
“And never touch?”
“No. We can.”
He sighed and nodded, gripping her tightly to him. “Violet, you’re a goddamned handful.”
She finally laughed. “I know. I’m sorry. But please don’t leave.”
“Yet. Right? Because you still won’t tell me anything real about you. So this is all it is and ever will be. So you’re only telling me not to leave yet.”
“Yes. Please understand how hard this is for me, and yes, it’s all I can offer you right now.”
“But you still want to offer it to me? Now? Here?”
“Yes. Desperately. Even with my awkward behavior.” He felt her body shuddering. “It’s been so long since I felt these things. It’s so good… but also overwhelming. I probably overreacted…”
“Yes, you did.”
“Thanks for being the adult and walking away before I said terrible things I would have regretted and never meant to say. Thank you for letting me just be me.”
He nudged her so she had to look up at him. “I’m actually pretty reasonable as an adult most of the time. So sure. You’re welcome. I was just being my normal awesome self.”
She finally smiled. “You are annoyingly mature, nice, funny and yeah… pretty awesome.”
He squeezed her and lifted her off her feet. “You’re not supposed to feel negative with a guy you’re fucking.”
He set her feet back on the earth and she winced. “Sorry, about that too. No. You made me feel the best way there is to feel and I know I’m spoiled but I should have realized it.”
“You should have.” Their gazes met and she smiled up at him. He returned it. The smile that was way overdue and which they should have exchanged this morning. Lowering his head, he planted a soft, compelling kiss on her mouth. She leaned toward him, tilting her head, and lifting up to her tiptoes. Yeah, she was right there and wanting him. She was even straining towards him. He lifted his head and caught her with her eyes shut and her mouth eagerly moving towards his. She blinked in surprise as a soft blush flushed her cheeks.
She was sweet and confusing. So hard to know. So easy to care about. It was a strange juxtaposition he never encountered with a woman before. Not that he had a lot of women in his life that he cared for. He never fell in love before. He liked so many women. His three longest relationships fizzled out eventually but that was because he wasn’t in love with them. He was careful to keep Andy away from his female companions for a long while. He feared if she got involved and it fizzled, it could be hard on her. Now that Andy was older, and much more cognizant of his private life, Gage didn’t date much. Not until he felt an irresistible interest in another woman, would another one come to his home.
But the way he felt now was exactly what he’d been searching for.
He let her go. “I’m starving. How about dinner?”
She sighed behind him with a laugh. It lifted his heart. He liked her when she wasn’t upset or worried. “Yes. I’ll make it now.”
He snorted. “That loses its impressive impact when all you gotta do is heat up water.” If she weren’t so goddamned strange and remote, he might have liked to tease and goad her into coming to his house for a gourmet dinner that he would personally cook for her. But he let it go. Unwilling to scare her off again today, his sole intention was to see if this could move forward.
They ate dinner and their mutual contentment filled him with renewed hope. When the night fell, Gage simply flopped on his cot and turned the light on as he asked, “Well… how do we do this? Stay separate like we are? Or push them together? What do you prefer?”
She didn’t glance his way but she responded, “Push them together.”
He nodded and got up to move the table and his cot. The edges created a godawful ridge for them to navigate over. But hell. Gage was happy for the human contact and didn’t care if he had a freaking ledge jutting into his back.
Although they only had one more condom, there were plenty of things he wanted to do to her tonight. He hoped he could encourage her to do some innovative things to him too, things for which they didn’t need anything more than their bodies.
Despite how glorious the three days were, finally, he had to go.
“Stay one more day?” she begged him hopefully.
“Give me your name and then we could just meet up again at home.”
Her head shook. He sighed. “I can’t. I have other obligations. But maybe I could come back here on Labor Day weekend. I have three days off. And if you’re still around here…”
“I’ll definitely be here that long.”
“So…?” She smiled. “So meet me then.”
He returned her smile with a tight-lipped one of his own. “I hate leaving you.”
“I’ll be okay. Remember? Loaded gun. GPS locator. I’m awesome too.”
He slipped an arm around her waist and kissed her mouth and then her forehead. “You are. You’re really awesome. This was so beyond anything I ever experienced or expected.”
She patted his stomach. “No one could have predicted this happening. Especially out here. So that’s the truest statement I know.”
He started to let her go. They held hands until the very last moment when he finally let their fingers slide free. Leaning over, he picked up his daypack, into which he’d jammed all of his stuff, and gave Monty a long rub goodbye with kind words of love. With a glance back, he observed the woman whom he least wanted to leave. But damn it. She refused to let him in.
“Goodbye, Violet.”
“See ya, Gage.” Her smile was big and her voice was normal. But her eyes? In her eyes he saw a sense of longing.
Gage missed Violet. But damn. Hearing Andy’s sweet voice again was glorious to his ears and very much needed. Andy was as vital to him as air and food. She was his source of survival. His love for his daughter inspired, motivated and sustained him. He called her as soon as he drove out of the trailhead and had cell reception.
“Did you find her? The mountain girl?”
“I did. She helped me build the trail.”
“Does she like you?”
Oh, hell yeah. In so many ways he could never tell his daughter. “She does. I think we’re friends. But she lets this sadness inside her about something limit her interactions. She refuses to talk about it and she won’t even tell me her last name so there’s no way I can find her.”
“That’s so… cool.”
Gage frowned into the phone. “What the heck is cool about it?”
“She sounds really fierce. Like no one else. Living on the mountain alone?! And refusing to tell you her name. What a wild story.”
If only Andy knew. It was certainly the wildest story of his life. One that could probably break his heart. Why the fuck did he volunteer for more suffering? How could he know if she’d even be there on Labor Day weekend? She could easily disappear and he’d never find her. God, what a kick in the guts and his heart to imagine that possibility.
“I can’t wait to see you. Tell me everything.” He redirected his thoughts to the real love of his life and dropped back into reality. To the life that he truly cherished. And within moments, Andy had him fully connected to that life again.
It got so quiet. The camp felt like an empty stadium, lacking all the cheers and yelling. Freaked out by the quiet solitude, Violet listened to her horses stomping, the splashes of the creek and the song of an occasional bird. She felt so lonely. So damn lonely.
She didn’t cry. She vowed she would not tear up and cry about something that never existed. After Gage left, she took her horses to graze in another pasture that was much further away. She walked until her legs were burning, going up and down the mountain in her effort to work off her excess energy. A new sadness. Fine. So what if she missed him? Being up there just wasn’t the same anymore. Not without him.
But he said he would come back. So what? What if he did?
She needed to get out for a shower and to restock her supplies. She decided to leave tomorrow because she couldn’t stand it there without him another day. The night only made it worse. Cold. Dark. Tears. Preston. Gage. Guilt ripped her apart. Choking on her sobs and missing Preston much more than before, she awoke from a nightmare. She saw Preston’s neck being broken by his fall. She found herself in a cold sweat, feeling miserable.
CHAPTER 10
“OH, MY GOD, I missed you so much, baby girl.” Gage swung Andy around in a full circle, uncaring if she were too old or too cool now for it. He tossed her around like he did when she was a little girl and squealed with joy.
She did not squeal with joy now, just annoyance. “Daaaadddd.” She hissed his name. “Put me down!” she ordered as she swatted his shoulder.
He did, grinning goofily at her. She rolled her eyes. “You like me entirely too much.”
He laughed as he grabbed her rollaway suitcase and carryon. “I do. And maybe next year I’ll go with you.”
“No!” Falling into step beside him, she was smiling also. She liked him too. He knew that. They chatted and she giggled with the stories he told her. She described all her activities over the last few weeks. It felt more like forever to Gage. Never again would she be away for so long, he decided. Well, maybe after she grew up and went to college, but only then.
“So are we going out or am I making your favorite dinner?”
“Let’s go out.”
He shut the back door on her luggage and jumped into the front seat. “Good. Tomorrow the whole family is coming over to welcome you home. So I’ll make your favorite chicken and pesto pizza.”
“I can’t wait.”
At dinner, she asked, “Dad… have you thought seriously about getting a horse? Did you find out anything about it?”
He did not. It completely slipped his mind. He spent a few weeks with two horses and the woman who brought them, but he never even considered getting one. Not even for Andy. “Andy…”
“Can I take riding lessons, then? What about just doing that? I love it, Dad. I swear I could become a… a famous horse woman.”
“Maybe it seemed like so much fun because it was so new and rare.”
“Dad, really. I mean it. I love everything about it. Please? Can’t I just take a few lessons to prove how much I love it to you?”
He sighed as her big-eyed stare melted his heart. “Okay. I promise to consider it…”
“Look what I found.” She shoved a piece of paper at him. He sighed as he scanned the flyer she proffered.
“They teach horseback riding right here. Down in the valley… What? Only a half hour away? Come on, Dad… Please? Please… they’re well-known and reputable…”
He tried to listen as he read the information and finally shushed her. The flyer advertised a horse camp being offered by the Rydell River Ranch, across from River’s End. No one could miss the giant spread of pastures, rail fences, and outbuildings across the river from the main highway.
“I’ve heard of it. But this camp is already over for the summer.”
“Right. The charity camp for the kids in foster care around the state is over. Cool, huh? But read the bottom. There is a number there for private horseback riding lessons. Dad, please? I swear, I’ll do it forever. I’ll quit track. I’ll—”
He sighed as he leaned over and ruffled her hair. “You don’t have to quit anything. Let’s give them a call. We’ll see what they offer and then we’ll see if we can squeeze it into our busy schedule and how much it costs and all that. So I can’t give you a yes, not yet… just a maybe…”
Gage knew Andy only heard “yes” in her excited brain because she gave him a bear hug and got out of her chair to do so.
His acquiescence instantly turned her into a willing, happy and excited dinner companion. That wasn’t why he did it. Horseback riding was a healthy pastime, and he couldn’t foresee anything bad from her learning more about it. It was safer for Andy to know how to handle the huge animals properly anyway. Better to start early than later on, and he intended to provide her with the proper instruction.
He called the number on the flyer two days later after a big family dinner. Several long talks with Andy about kayaking on the river while lounging in front of the TV detailed her wonderful vacation. Oh, the luxuries he missed. Yeah, he mostly just missed his couch and bed and TV. A lot.
Being back, however, he missed Violet.
Seeking a form of distraction, Gage finally called the Rydell River Ranch. He was transferred to Erin Rydell with whom he scheduled a private lesson for beginners and voila! They had an appointment the following Saturday at nine o’clock. Andy was so excited, she didn’t complain about the early morning hour. She was bouncing with eagerness and all but shrieking with joy. And oh. The unconcealed displays of affection Gage got for making the arrangements.
That Saturday, they dressed for the occasion and left early. Driving under a sign that spanned the entrance of the dusty driveway with the words, Rydell River Ranch Est. 1802 overhead, the gate they saw before them was locked with razor wire all around it. They weren’t kidding about privacy and security. Erin Rydell, one of the owners, told Gage to press the red button on the display. She promised to leave his name with the security guard so he could get in. Sure enough, he held up his ID to prove who he was before the security detail allowed him entrance. Overkill?
Erin claimed that some criminal activity occurred on the ranch in the past so they responded by installing extra security. He followed the gently weaving dusty road. Andy already had her nose pressed to the passenger window as she stared at the dozen or so horses when they came into view. Some stood right at the white rail fence. Others gathered in groups to graze, their huge heads down, a tranquil sight against the open fields, white rail fencing, and brown rolling mountains beyond.
They came to a fork in the road, at which Erin told Gage to bear right. The horse stables were located next to a large indoor arena and guest resort. Erin said she would meet them out front at nine a.m.
Gage drove past more fields. The ones without horses had green carpets of alfalfa growing as far as he could see. On the left, the river shone as brightly as a newly minted coin in the rising sun. A series of small, quaint, adorable cabins hugged the river. He saw lovely landscaped and well-manicured lawns, walkways, fountains, benches and swings. They had a main playground, a swimming pool and other facilities. What he assumed was the check-in office and gift shop occupied a smaller building on the dusty road. Once inside the resort, Gage noticed it was paved in some spots and had gravel in others. A cloud of thick dust followed him as he pulled up a small incline towards a gigantic building: the covered horse arena.
He saw a short, dark-haired woman, whose hair was woven into a braid. She waved as he pulled in. Gage waved back and Andy bounded out like a wild ferret, she was so excited to be there. He chuckled and shrugged at Erin when Andy kept literally bouncing from one foot to the other.
“You must be Andy,” Erin said and Gage nodded as Erin gave Andy a huge smile. “I’m Erin. I heard you were recently bitten by the horse bug and want to learn how to ride.”
“I was and I do. I went to the most awesome camp where we spent the week learning how to do the basics, so I know a few things. And I love it. Every single moment… and I’d love to get as good as those people that can jump onto their horse bare back and start galloping around.”
Erin’s broad smile was generous as she watched the thrilled teen. She wasn’t the least bit annoyed. Gage wondered how often she must witness that much eagerness and excitement. At least it didn’t jade her. “Well, eventually we’ll get into the galloping, but you’ll definitely get on a horse’s back today. And you’ll be all the more amazing for it. Follow me.”
They entered the arena amidst a series of oohs and ahhs from Andy as her gaze whipped right and left. So did Gage’s, to be honest. The elaborate operation impressed him at once by its sheer size and volume. A small group was gathered in the center arena. They were members of the Morgan Horse Riding Association, Erin explained. Pausing for a moment to watch them prance their magnificent horses proudly, Andy’s mouth dropped open as she passionately exclaimed, “I want to do that!”
Gage groaned. He could only imagine all the time and money it would take to get her to that stage; not to mention his fear if she did manage to get that far. Erin led them through the stables, past the individual stalls.
Some were empty. Others not. She said that many locals boarded their horses during the year, and some of the others were for the horses when they were temporarily using the arena.
“We have to employ an entire schedule and management team just for the arena. I don’t get too involved with that. My husband and I run the horse rescue at the other end of the ranch. I still give private riding lessons because I love doing it so much. But I’m giving you this little tour just to show you all the opportunities and services we offer. If you’re still interested in lessons, either private or group, we give them in here when the weather turns ugly. For now, though, we prefer to use the outside arenas. That’s why I asked you to come so early, mainly to avoid the heat.” She had such a great smile. Both warm and shy at once.
As they were walking, Erin pointed to the restaurant above them. The walls were made of glass to allow the diners to watch the arena while they ate. “If you’re interested, I’ll get you a coupon for a discount; you get half off your dinners if you come for the show.”
